Family composition shapes a child’s identity as well as his perception of the world around him. In the United States, the traditional nuclear family with two opposite-gendered parents remains the cultural norm. Many of the controversies surrounding the definition of family has lead to custody battles, financial burdens and extra pressure placed upon parents in unique situations. Rather than condemn nontraditional families, we must work to provide them with the necessary support to raise their children in happy, healthy living situations.
Parenting is already a challenge. Families that don’t fit into the particular mold expected by society face unique challenges when it comes to raising children. These families are burdened by same-sex marriage bans, child-rearing laws, adoption requirements and pressures for women and men to fulfill certain gender roles. Proponents of traditional family values often attribute the difficulty of nontraditional parenting to the lack of a certain gender’s influence. This argument merely reinforces the marginalization of nontraditional families. Issues stem from minimal institutional support for single and same-sex parents. Praising “family values” while ignoring the needs of nontraditional families is entirely unhelpful.
Parents can easily become overpowered when they have no one supporting them. It’s unhealthy for both the parent and the child. In mid-January a single mother from North Carolina went “on strike” from parenting her children, claiming that her children refused to listen to her or appreciate what she did for them. She stated, “This world has a greater hold on my children than I do.” This mother picketed outside her own home, holding a sign reading “Mom on Strike.” The children’s aunt stepped in to diffuse the situation. She encouraged them to respect, appreciate and apologize to their mother. When parents are offered support it can ease the stress of raising a family seemingly “alone.”
The case in point is a testament to importance of familial and community support. Children are not merely a product of their parents; rather, as we grow and learn we absorb all of the environment we are surrounded by.
About one-quarter of the population of children in the United States resides with only one parent. The majority of these children live with mothers. Twenty-seven percent of single mothers in the United States live below the poverty line. For these women, raising children alone is not the first or most desirable option. Parents need support systems.
“Families” can be built by various roles working together to offer support regarding childcare. Nuclear families are not superior to families composed of single mothers supported by extended family members. However, both provide children with a better environment than a single mother with no outside support.
There is no one way to raise a child, but it is our responsibility to work together as a community and to offer support to those who need it without judgment.