I wear a short skirt, I’m a slut. I have sex with my boyfriend, I’m a slut. I hook up with guys, I’m a slut. I’m flirtatious, I’m a slut. Regardless of an individual’s sexual activity, “slut” is the go-to insult to throw at a girl. How much delight our culture takes in pointing fingers at women and declaring them “sluts” absolutely irritates me. Instead of attacking a girl’s intelligence, personality or even appearance, her sexuality is attacked. This is problematic because rarely do guys receive these types of insults. Guys are celebrated for the more girls they can convince to sleep with them. Terms such as “player” are more endearing. If they are seen in a negative way at all, it’s because people dislike players misleading girls rather than out of disgust over the player’s promiscuity.
We allegedly live in a progressive society where birth control options are available, “50 Shades of Grey” is a best-selling novel and hook-up cultures flourish. We are a sexually driven and obsessed society. Yet, real women who are sexually liberated are berated for their personal choices. It’s a completely mixed signal. Why when Miley Cyrus performed at the Video Music Awards were all the insults hurled at her and not Robin Thicke? There should be nothing wrong with choosing to be sexually promiscuous if that person is emotionally mature enough to handle that and practices safe sex. Slut shaming isn’t only happening to women who act as extras in a porno. It happens to everyday women who actually make prudent sexual choices. That is the issue with slut shaming. It isn’t about calling out women who truly act overly open about sex. It is about making regular women feel guilty about their sexuality. The archaic view that women aren’t supposed to enjoy sex is still ingrained in our society.
The concept of the “fallen woman” is sadly still prominent, and the way we treat rape victims is another example of slut shaming. The amount of times that rape victims have had their cases dismissed because it is thought that they deserved it for behaving in a “slutty” way, with regards to their dress, body language or words, is shocking and disgusting. The famous case in Toronto, where Constable Michael Sanguinetti said that if women don’t want to get raped they should “avoid dressing like sluts,” is an example of how even a legal system could hold that women shouldn’t be sexually provocative.
This attitude is unfair. It’s a double standard. Men are allowed — encouraged, in fact — to have multiple sexual partners and explore their sexuality. Women, on the other hand, are expected to be better behaved. Women can act in a “slutty” way if they choose but shouldn’t expect anyone respectable to want them. It sounds ridiculous to say it out loud, but so many people really do think like this.
What is also problematic is a lot of the time, it is girls calling other girls sluts. That just seems like an issue of girls shooting themselves in the foot. If women want to be empowered and truly be on an equal playing field with men, slut shaming has to end. It plummets women backward. Women should be supporting each other and supporting a woman’s right to freedom, including in their sexuality, instead of cruelly putting others down for their personal choices.
The term slut just seems silly to me because what defines a slut? Is it because she slept with 30 guys? She’s good at giving blow jobs? She finally let her boyfriend go all the way with her? She’s on the pill? Or she’s simply attractive? The word slut itself is problematic, as it can really only be used to describe women. It’s a sexist and charged term. Women should never be made to feel guilty or inferior for their sexual choices.
After years of sexual oppression, women should be encouraged to explore and understand their sexualities. The word should either be completely eradicated from our vocabulary, or we should start using it to describe men too. The next time you call a girl a slut, go up to the guy with whom she’s doing her dirty deeds and call him one, too. End the double standard, and I’ll stop complaining.