I bet you thought you outgrew toys long ago. But just when you thought your childhood affinity for toys was over, now is the opportunity to experiment with a new tier of toys: sex toys. Sex toys come in all shapes, sizes, colors and materials. Gay, straight, lesbian, by yourself or with 10 others, sex toys are the tools that can transport you to a whole new realm of sex.
The quintessential sex toy is the classic dildo. Latex or rubber and usually dishwasher safe, the classic dildo is a great toy for beginners who want to try something new. You can keep it simple and get one that resembles a penis or try one that doesn’t fit the usual mold. Different textures can reach every erogenous zone inside of you. A dildo is perfect for masturbation or couples who want to please one another. If one dildo isn’t enough, look no further than the double-sided dildo. This toy suits two people who both want to have penetration, but don’t want to do the penetrating. Don’t forget to pair your new best friend with some lube for your own version of greased lightning.
If you really want to spread the good vibes, ditch the drum circle and pick up a vibrator. The vibrator is perfect for the woman on the go who doesn’t have time for a partner. Just make sure to take the batteries out if you take it mobile. At first, if it goes off in your bag, we’ll all think it’s your phone, but a phone only rings for so long. Just as with dildos, there are a lot of different kinds: little ones that fit on your finger like a ring, or larger sizes that fit in the palm of your hand. You can even try a “neck massager” like Samantha does in “Sex and the City.” If you go to return it at Sharper Image, don’t tell them you used it for massaging a place other than your neck.
The butt plug stimulates the prostate, a source of immense pleasure. Even straight couples can experiment with these toys. Guys, don’t be afraid to ask your lady friend to plug you, because stimulating the prostate is an experience you don’t want to miss. Anal beads can also stimulate the backdoor. Lots of lube is required for this one, but simply insert the beads slowly and gently pull them out one by one. Finding what you like is always a guessing game, but once you do, you’ll be happier than a kid in a toy store.
If you want an all-in-one toy, I recommend giving inflatable dolls a go. Make sure you think of the perfect name and backstory for your new pseudo boyfriend or girlfriend. You’ll like your new friend a lot more than that inflatable whale you played with in the pool as a kid. Straight guys can purchase a female companion willing to explore everything. Or, for ladies and gay men, a man doll will never suffer from whiskey dick or erectile dysfunction. They don’t have to be inflatable, either. Dolls come in silicone, and while this may be a bit pricier, if you get that dream job with the Big 4 after Binghamton, you might want to invest in a new toy instead of a dream car.
Sex toys are an indulgence many never experience. However, those who do will become experts in pleasuring themselves and others. Just remember to always clean your toys after each use, and to keep them away from children.