Sex makes most people uncomfortable. There are very few people who can talk about their sex lives openly and even they don’t always feel comfortable telling certain people.
Sure, it’s great when you’re having it, but that doesn’t mean you want to discuss all the fine details.
I began to think about this because a lot of people seem to think it’s odd that I can be so open about my sex life and my opinion about others. Truth is, I’m not.
I can write about sex all day and all night, but talking about it is a different story. Verbally telling someone about sex is something that I reserve for very few people, and even they used to describe me as somewhat prude. (Hard to believe, I know.)
But what is it about sex that makes people not want to talk about it? It’s not like most people have never or will never have it, and it is only natural. Still, we sometimes treat it like it’s something to be ashamed of.
Perhaps you blame a past experience. You could have anxiety regarding sex or you could have had a bad sexual experience, and as such, you associate sex with that same uncomfortable feeling. It happened once and worked out poorly, what’s stopping it from happening again?
Maybe it’s just that sex is something you prefer to keep to yourself. Some people just don’t want to talk about their dirty laundry. Those people may think that sex should just be between themselves and their partners. After all, they’re the only people having it.
Whatever the reason, people seem to squirm when they talk about sex. Some people laugh it off, some people blush and some people treat it as a joke. In case anyone’s wondering, I blush.
Of course there is another side to it. Some people — like some of my friends — are more open.
One of my best friends wants to be an actress. She’s always changing with other people and works in extremely close quarters with a lot of other people. She has to be open with her body, and so she is. In most cases, she will give you any detail you want to hear.
For her, she can get by the anxiety shared by most of the population because she’s passionate about theater and she isn’t going to let something as basic as sex get in the way. She’s just that kind of girl.
But instead of dissecting the reasons why we can’t talk about sex, I could have talked about why that’s a problem. It could be better to just accept how we feel about sex, since chances are it’s not going to magically change one day. Embarrassed or not, we all have an opinion about sex.
It’s because sex has always been a hot-button topic and it will always be. It’s in our nature and it’s not going anywhere.