While home for a few days and feeling generous, I offered to run across the street and pick up some overpriced frozen yogurt from Pinkberry for my family. As I was heading out, my mom shouted my name and asked me if I forgot my pants — I was wearing a skirt. Amused and annoyed, I told her I had long legs and there’s not much I can do about that. My mom reminded me that we live on Second Avenue and were surrounded by bars filled with drunken men. Understanding her point, I told her, “They probably shouldn’t be staring,” and walked out.
This wasn’t the first conversation I have had with my mother in regards to the length of my skirt and it won’t be the last. Neither was it the first or last conversation I had with anyone about my skirt. Growing up in New York City, I have been a victim to cat-calling since I was in eighth grade. My walk from the subway to school was filled with, “Hey cutie!” “Your legs are gorgeous!” or, “Babe, don’t go to school today, I can teach you some things!” Disgusted, I would continue my stride to ensure I wouldn’t miss the bell. When I would share these anecdotes with my friends, I would hear, “Well, I guess you have to cover up!”
Now, as a sexual assault prevention advocate, I walk around our student Marketplace asking students if they feel as though what someone is wearing is indicative of their sexual desire. Confident their answers will be “No,” I am consistently surprised to hear students hesitate. Oftentimes, students explain that while it is not indicative of their sexual desires, somebody who is wearing some thing shorter is most likely willing to “put out” over somebody who is dressed more conservatively. Hearing this sentiment infuriates me. I think, “What an ignorant being,” but then I remember everything I was told growing up and think, “They truly just don’t know any better.”
I respond by saying that nobody wakes up, brushes their teeth, throws on their mini denim skirt and says, “I’m going to get sexually assaulted today!” Clothing is a necessity that has become a significant element of how we express ourselves. It has the strength to make us feel beautiful, let the world know we are Hillary Clinton supporters or that we are in the Binghamton Class of 2017. Everything we wear is a symbol of who we are and nobody is a symbol of sexual assault.
So, the next time you tell somebody what they’re wearing is too short, ask yourself what “too short” means. The issue is never the length of the skirt but the mind within the rapist.
Sarah Saad is a junior double-majoring in human development and women, gender and sexuality studies.