“MascBUguys,” “No femmes” and “NoBlacks” are all Grindr profiles currently displayed in the Binghamton community. Now, this isn’t any new development in gay hookup culture where the only body type men seem to want is the fratty white guy. But why — in 2015 — does the trend seem to be growing rather than slowing down? In a time where gender fluidity and race are being openly discussed more than ever, why does Grindr still only find one type of guy attractive?
I wouldn’t even be able to count the number of times men stop talking to me when they realize that — rather than throwing on a pair of Nikes — I prefer to display myself more fluidly. Just last month, someone told me that I “need to have my sexual reassignment surgery already.” How is it possible that we’re still choosing to see the world through the 1950s scope of the all-American white male, when we’re supposed to be living in a time that glorifies all types of bodies and identities?
I would think that in a post-RuPaul’s Drag Race and Cailtyn Jenner world, people would realize that “masculine” and “feminine” aren’t set in stone — that people of color exist and are beautiful. I know preferences exist and that we all have them, but there’s a moment where it changes from a preference to a disgust for someone who doesn’t conform to the binary or who doesn’t fit into what is deemed “beautiful.”
Gay isn’t deviant anymore. Gay is out and about in society. But is it “proud?” Gay is normalizing, and it is normalizing fast. But in the process, as a gay culture, we are leaving out all of the other parts of the spectrum of gay and what it is to be gay. Shaming people who can’t conform to what society expects of them is wrong, and this goes well beyond just hooking up. As the gay movement makes immense strides towards acceptance, it is at the same time making huge compromises in what it is supposed to mean.
Gay is supposed to be different and beautiful. I’m not saying it’s wrong to be a masculine, white, gay man, but it is wrong to not be aware of the rest of your community that was fighting with you all this time. Gay men are taking their marriages and they’re taking their tax incentives and they’re moving to the suburbs and leaving the rest of the LBTQ behind to stay deviant and wrong. We should revel in one another’s differences and explore our options, not stay locked in boxes we didn’t build ourselves. Weren’t we always told to “think outside the box?” Well, start thinking and start realizing there’s more to people than “Masc4Masc.”