This past weekend I made peace with Valentine’s Day. You’re probably wondering why anyone would have to make peace with a holiday that’s all about love. I’m neither anti-Valentine’s Day nor anti-love.
But for years I have been conflicted between the consumerism and the love. How do two contrasting concepts harmoniously produce such an atmosphere of bliss? It also puzzled me that one day could be singled out to signify emotions that are supposed to exist year round. Last weekend taught me that Valentine’s Day is a day to invest, but many are unsure of what they are truly investing in.
According to the National Retail Federation, American consumers collectively spent $18.6 billion on Valentine’s Day, an average of $130.97 per person. Even though the average is only approximately $4 greater than last year’s, the truth remains that fiscal conservatism cannot be outweighed by the cultural normative to produce, solidify, maintain or even reclaim love through material items. Love, for all intents and purposes, cannot be purchased. So why is that message preached to consumers every Feb. 14?
Melodramas and romantic comedies teach us that true love lies not within a box of chocolates or human-sized stuffed animal, but within the character of an individual. However, character remains absent as consumers flock to the same stores to buy the same items. For the recipients of those gifts, the happiness is overshadowed by the reality that somewhere else, someone else is holding the same items, cherishing them as much as you are.
The greatest problem about Valentine’s Day is that the people with whom we celebrate the holiday become afterthoughts to the chocolate and roses. As consumers, we become obsessed with the presentation of love, the cost of love and yes, even the look of it, rather than appreciating the source from which that love derives.
Our hearts, as well as our wallets, become dedicated to the retailers that fund the atmosphere and victims to the cavities that are sure to come. However, those companies do not supply the intent, time and energy that many invest into their relationships. So why invest in them, when the purpose of Valentine’s Day is to invest in people?
I spent my Valentine’s Day weekend invested in my friend. We laughed, talked and cried about love as we’ve come to know it in our 20s. The grand realization of that weekend was that appreciating love or friendship requires nothing more than a little investment — and not the monetary kind.
Appreciating anyone, whether a lover, friend, or parent requires a commitment to honesty, understanding and support, the kind of attributes a heart-shaped box of chocolates could never possess. On the other hand, I learned not to be too judgmental of those who partake in the consumerism of Valentine’s Day. All of us in some way are victims to our culture of consumption. Being compelled to buy gifts to show affection is no exception to the rule. The only issue is that it is the rule.