I panicked a bit when I looked at the first writers’ schedule of the semester and saw my name among those to write first. The fact that I would have to begin writing columns again barely crossed my mind during a summer in which I started working my first job, prepared to rent my first house and all the while, tried to make the most of the time I had with people I would not see for a while.
I relaxed on my car ride to Binghamton, as there was a lot of time to think and talk to myself on my lovely four-hour drive. I had quite an interesting summer. In fact, the world had an interesting summer, so I had a few opinions lying about.
There were heat waves, the Ames Straw Poll, a major advance for the rebels in Libya, the end of NASA’s shuttle program, a famine in Somalia, Hurricane Irene — and the summer isn’t even over yet.
But instead of a discourse about how America can let such hateful and regressive people get into government, or my opinions on Libya, I’m going to discuss something you don’t often see tweeted about: the commercialization of the theme park.
My friends and I took a fun, smelly trip through Jersey to the wondrous Six Flags Great Adventure. We eagerly went into the park, excited to take a stab at some new rides, and ride some old favorites once again.
The Batman coaster, with its corkscrews and loops, was the first on our long list of rides for the day. We traversed the sewers of Gotham, trying to duck under whatever fan we could find to keep cool as we made our way to the Bat Cave. Maybe the heat was just getting to us, but something seemed different about the park.
Leaving Gotham, we decided to “stand up to our fear” on the Green Lantern roller coaster. It’s the newest ride in the park, and we were met with a long line. While reading about the Green Lantern Corps and the threat of Parallax, it seemed that instead of standing up to our fears, our discomfort was only more solidified.
Our idle chit chat was constantly interrupted by Kevin James and his “funny” antics with a gorilla. If I had a dollar for every time I saw the trailer for the movie nobody asked for, I would’ve made my ticket money back.
Things didn’t get any better throughout the day. Stride gum advertisements all over the cars for El Toro made it feel like we were actually riding “El Chicle.” And it was hard to feel like I was in a tropical jungle or the Ol’ West while modern advertisements assaulted us from all sides. There was no subtlety at all.
Now, I’m not trying to say that the abundance of advertisements ruined my time at the park. I finally got to check every coaster off my list and each one, from Kingda Ka to Bizarro, was a blast. It’s just the principle of the thing that really rustles my jimmies.
Whether you’re on YouTube or strolling through Walmart, there are so many advertisements calling out to you with bright colors, spunky announcers and happy people. It makes it hard to think. It wouldn’t bother me as much if these ads implored people to read or to keep in touch with current events, but such things would never exist.
So, as corporate America becomes more and more pervasive in the common man’s life, there’s not much else you can do besides not fall for the flashy traps and lies, shrugging off their calls for your cash and try to have an educated, productive experience on the ride called “Life.”