If March goes in like a lion and out like a lamb, then I’d say we’re about a platypus. As you ponder how I arrived at such a conclusion, I’m going to keep on with my “Madness in March” series. Catch up when you’re ready.
Just to recap, in the Holiday region, Purim defeated St. Patrick’s Day in a pressure-cooker of a matchup, while “Mad Men” took care of “The Hunger Games” pretty handily. Both move on to next Friday’s Phinal Phour, while we determine today who emerges from the Our Favorite Days and Miscellaneous regions. Everyone bone up on your Gus Johnson impressions. It’s time to get down.
OUR FAVORITE DAYS – Super Tuesday vs. Selection Sunday
If there was one lock for this entire fantasy tournament, a surefire No. 1 seed dismantling a lowly No. 16, this would be it.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t be interested in politics, but let’s face it — this year, the only thing that made Super Tuesday super is that it meant we were one giant step closer to the Republican primary season ending.
With 10 states at stake on March 6 for the Republican Party’s four No. 1 seeds, front-runner Mitt Romney still wasn’t able to definitively pull away from the pack. What does it mean for us? We get to be subjected to a few more months of Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich on the national stage.
Talk about your bracket busters.
On the other hand, March 11 gave us Selection Sunday, the prologue to March’s true madness: the NCAA tournament.
If the NCAA tournament is the wildest party of year, then Selection Sunday is the cocktail hour. And damn it all if I don’t love pigs in a blanket and spinach puffs. No other month of the year in sports (except October, if or when Bernie Madoff’s grand plan to oust the Wilpons as Mets’ owners ever culminates) even comes close to March.
Super Tuesday gave us a few more months of Rick Santorum. Selection Sunday gave us three weeks of bracketed basketball bliss. I think we know who moves on here.
MISCELLANEOUS – Pi Day vs. Vernal Equinox
I’m not sure which religion my 11th-grade pre-calc teacher followed (though, since I grew up on Long Island, I think it’s safe to say she was Jewish), but no doubt, her favorite holiday was Pi Day. She followed that thing religiously. And on March 14, 2007, I got to reap the full benefits.
Students brought in pies of all shapes and sizes. Extra credit was doled out if you were able to recite pi’s first 10 digits. It was a feel-good kind of holiday, and even the Pi Day Scrooge that was my 10th-grade math teacher couldn’t take it away from me.
But as long as we’re talking circles, and more specifically, things that are cyclical, the vernal equinox triumphs over the autumnal equinox and both solstices as the top coming out party for any of the seasons. And I’m not sure a few pies stack up.
Thawing out of winter does more for our mood and psyche than even the richest, freshest pie. Have you seen campus recently? I forgot people even went to this school, but now students are avoiding the indoors like some harmful asbestos-like chemical is seeping into the vents.
OK, so maybe that wasn’t the best simile.
In all fairness though, can you say the feeling you get from wolfing down a pie or two trumps the rejuvenating nature of the vernal equinox? I can’t, and that’s why the coming of spring breaks its way into the Phinal Phour.
So the league is set: “Mad Men” vs. Purim, Selection Sunday vs. the vernal equinox. On Friday, March 23, we crown a champion. I’m listening to “One Shining Moment” just to pump myself up for the special occasion. I suggest you do the same.