I remember graduating from high school. I really was that 18-year-old who thought she had it all figured out. Future job — planned. Friends — piece of cake. The next four years were going to be a seamless transition into “real life.” With “real work” and “real money” to pay my “real rent.” I had the steadfast confidence of Elle Woods getting into law school — “What, like it’s hard?”
But after a lovely reality check consisting of endless biology major coursework, struggling for internships and two summers of back-breaking waitressing in a seafood restaurant, I realized that this “real money” is hard to earn and even harder to hold onto. What with paying for food, books, clothes and such. And the occasional, much-to-often $5 bar cover and sequential drinks to follow.
So, now a little over two years in, with a semester abroad on the horizon and what seems like no time before caps, gowns and unemployment, I pose the question — are a few years at home following graduation smart for a college graduate, or is moving out right away a better choice?
Accredited Schools Online wrote about Sandy Fowler, a business owner, and her daughter Emma, to highlight the jarring change of reintroducing a college graduate into their home dynamic. One of the main points that were touched on was how this decision can infringe upon a 20-something’s agency and independence. Emma explained that “The graduate is used to making many more of their own life decisions … This may clash with unspoken expectations of the parents, who are likely not adjusted to their child’s new autonomy.” The reintroduction of a child into the home is like manipulating any equilibrium that has been established. It is an “x-factor” that will have consequences for the inner workings of the system as a whole.
Emma also points out that this system that had always operated with regard to the “pre-college child” must adapt to the new circumstances, and even then, may be unsuitable to the people involved. “Both parties have certain expectations based on an old dynamic that doesn’t apply anymore,” Emma says. “And that often leads to misunderstandings and arguments.” The mutual misunderstanding between this new take on “my roof, my rules” and a college student’s formative independent experience on their own could put strain on the relationship between a child and their parents. This forces them to reestablish an equilibrium that could incite resentment on either side.
But what this side of the argument fails to acknowledge is the human variable. As much as college simulates real life, nothing can prepare a freshly graduated college 20-something from getting knocked on their ass by reality. Sometimes growing pains that are associated with reestablishing that home dynamic and a few arguments are actually still optimal as opposed to the alternative — beginning this “real life” on an unstable foundation of financial insecurity.
Everyone says that staying home will allow a newly-christened adult to “save up”, but they don’t actually analyze the logical premise of this concept, especially from the vantage point of today’s economic climate. Forbes speaks on the topic regarding millennial college students, claiming that “Millennials are earning 20 percent less than their parents did at the same age. Meanwhile, the cost of major monthly expenses has soared in recent years.” For most, this is simply an unfeasible standard to adhere to without a crutch of some kind. This immense gap concerning the cost of living between generations is often overlooked and hidden within the expectation that a college degree is enough for one to land on their feet post-grad.
According to Moving.Tips, living at home in a temporary arrangement allows a new graduate to accumulate money from a steady income while avoiding high living expenses because of shared utilities. They claim that your “bank account will increase and before long you’ll have enough money for an apartment deposit and rent — or even for a down payment on a house.” This is even more true of people who are dealing with loans or college debt. Rather than being subjected to this constant state of being above water financially and having to chalk out allotments of income for rent, utilities and essentials, living at home relieves some of this pressure for the long-term goal of creating a foundation to continue to build on.
College students are often accustomed to conditional independence, freedom that exists within the bubble of less responsibility. To expect them to translate this mindset to a “real-world” way of life without some kind of relief is naive, especially with the way in which this “real-world” has evolved over time. Today’s world is not perfect, and these young adults can’t be expected to be either. College graduates should be allowed to “make their own mistakes” without it costing them the quality of their first life as an adult. So that maybe one day they can pay it forward to their own kids, in whatever beautiful, messed-up “real-world” they find themselves on the brink of joining.
Julia O’Reilly is a junior majoring in biology.