The buzzword “hook-up culture” and resulting criticisms of this concept are common topics of conversation on college campuses. Frankly, I’m tired of it. I understand the multitude of reasons given as to why “hook-up culture” is harmful. However, I find the shaming involved in criticisms of “hook-up culture” not only problematic, but unfair.
I am not opposed to monogamy. In fact, I think it is a great thing, if that’s what you’re into. However, a lot of people in college are not in long-term committed relationships and why should they be? Back when people were less likely to go to college and thrust into the “real world” earlier in life, it made sense to marry in your early twenties. This simplistic road to finding a final partner is no longer realistic for modern college students.
We all know how often the transition from college to high school severs relationships. The same is true, unfortunately, with the transition from undergrad to graduate school, or a study abroad program, or an internship or into the workforce. Students are faced with a greater number of options. More people travel and are even forced to move to find work. It becomes a lot more complicated to make things work when students are settling into their lives at a much later time.
Despite this, we still want to meet people, have fun and date casually. If the two people involved are consenting adults who are emotionally capable of handling the situation then it should not be looked down upon. People often act apologetically in terms of their hook-ups, as if there should be some sort of guilt involved. They’re afraid to admit how many people they have hooked up with or that they like hooking up. Your sex life is your business and your value as a person and capability to be in a functioning, monogamous relationship is not affected by how many hook-ups you have had.
I also do not think that hooking up itself is something specific to our generation. Premarital sex and hook-ups have been around since the dawn of time. Sexual exploration is natural and pleasurable. The only difference between us and our ancestors is that we talk about it more. Due to social media and a more open society, we are granted the freedom to discuss our “hook-ups.” Yet, this freedom has resulted in increased oppression. We are being encouraged to believe that hooking up is detrimental to our interpersonal relationships. Can’t we be given a little more credit than that? As a generation, we are capable of handling our sexual freedom in whatever way we please. Don’t apologize for your sexuality.