Hockey is greater than football. Yes, I’m going there, and right after Super Bowl Sunday.
I don’t care if football is the biggest sport in America and everyone and their grandmother tune in to the Super Bowl every February — I’d much rather be sitting on my couch sporting a New York Rangers jersey and watching a fast-paced game of hockey.
I know, most readers want to punt me 80 yards just for desecrating the name of their beloved sport (and don’t even get me started on my affinity for soccer, I might get death threats) but hockey is just a more exciting game to watch.
The first argument for football almost always discusses the physicality of the sport. With men slamming headfirst into each other or tackling someone at the knees, it is most certainly a sport of bone-shattering hits and frequent head injuries.
But then there’s hockey. Constant physical contact coupled with frequent fisticuffs and you’ve got yourself a sport that puts football to shame.
Hockey players are just tougher — they’ve got fewer teeth, more head injuries and most are smaller than football players.
I’d place my bets on Colton Orr in a fight over most football players any day.
Here’s my other problem with football — the overweight players. Find another sport (and no, Starcraft II doesn’t count) where the players are actually chubby. Football is a sport tailor-made for chubby players since the game stops every few seconds.
Hockey players are all lean muscle — some are short and some are Zdeno Chara. But there is not a single chubby hockey player out there on the ice—even the goaltenders who spend most of the game standing are still svelte.
Football is a staccato, stop-and-go sport, perfect for the average American’s attention span: a first-down attempt, then a tackle, then 45 seconds replaying the aforementioned play, then 15 seconds spent zooming in on the quarterback’s face, then 10 seconds waiting for them to actually snap the ball and the cycle continues. Rinse and repeat.
But if any of you would actually like to watch a sport, not two hours of commercials mixed with commentary, hockey is the sport for you.
The TV timeouts exist, but the NHL places strict rules upon them. No TV timeouts during an icing — and I have watched commercials get stopped in their tracks if a fight broke out during a planned break.
Also, the game can go long stretches without a stoppage in play — and most stoppages end up in pushing and shoving or flat-out punches in the face.
Blood is a frequent attendee at hockey games, and call me a violent psychopath if you wish, but that makes the game all the more exciting.
The men are wearing blades on their feet, ladies and gentleman, and as gross as this may sound, I have seen that blade injure a few players.
Blood. Fights. Nonstop play. The occasional curse word picked up by the microphone. Taunting. Stick-breaking. Name-calling. Shootouts. Slashing. Broken noses. Ripped jerseys. Hat tricks.
Hockey is greater than football.
Except Sidney Crosby. You football fans can have him.