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A wise fat cook once said, “There’s a time and a place for everything, and it’s called college.” Freshmen, it is time to choose your own adventure. If you’re a bigger boozer than Barney Gumble, proceed to Part I. If you are as dry as the Sahara, proceed to Part II. Good luck. You might need it.

Part I

You’ve committed to make alcohol an integral part of your college experience and there’s no turning back.

[We assume, of course, that all freshmen are 21 and abide by all appropriate legal and safety measures.]

State Street is the hub of the drinking world in Binghamton. The establishments that line the stretch of road between Hawley and Court know it too. Our beloved Rathskeller has re-opened for business, and Tom and Marty’s is quite honestly the best place in the world ever. Also, take a picture with Rasa.

It’s also never too difficult to find a halfway decent party. Since the alcohol scene on campus is bleak, and most of these ragers, bangers, raves and blowouts will be happening off campus, you should start familiarizing yourself with cab numbers and blue bus schedules. Main Street and its satellites are lined with students always eager to throw a party, so it’s just a matter of making connections and knowing people. Strike up conversations with classmates, talk to strangers. People want to party and they want you there.

Once you’ve emerged from your haze and gulped down whatever cures your wicked hangover, proceed to Part II for some fun that might be a little more lenient on your liver.

Part II

So you’ve chosen to make college a “dry run.” BU and the city of Binghamton have plenty in store. The crown jewel is Late Nite Binghamton. Every Friday and Saturday, Late Nite puts together solid events in the Old University Union for you to enjoy. The café almost always has live music, they show movies that are fresh out of theaters and the kicker: it’s all free. Late Nite is “Ol’ Reliable” for sober fun.

On campus, the Nature Preserve provides acres upon acres of area to hike (you should try the Bunn Hill Road side), the hills between Mountainview College and Hinman College prove great sledding fodder once the snow comes down and the bowling alley, gyms and sporting events are always at your disposal.

And don’t get down on the city of Binghamton either. First Friday provides some stellar art galleries and Otsiningo Park has beautiful bike paths while the weather is kind. The prices of food and movies are sure to tickle your fancy as well, especially if you hail from downstate.

If you’ve torn through all of the above and you’re still looking for a good time, proceed to Part I. You might even enjoy it.