As a nation, we’ve made great strides in the acceptance of homosexuality and the fight for gay rights. Unfortunately, there are many issues affecting the LGBTQ community that have yet to be addressed. The average American is willing to accept homosexuality, but on their own terms. Gay people are tolerated if they fit into convenient stereotypes concocted by heterosexuals. Who hasn’t heard a girl say, “I just really want a gay best friend”? Lesbians are also stereotyped, hyper-sexualized and discussed in terms of the male gaze. To make true progress, we must expand our discussion of LGBTQ issues beyond such stereotypes.
We need to question why many are so uncomfortable with people who do not identify neatly within the dichotomy of gay and straight. Bisexuals are met with distrust and intolerance. Faith Cheltenham, founder of BiNet USA, a bisexual organization, argues that, “Bisexuality has often been maligned, both by anti-LGBT forces who believe bisexuals are necessarily non-monogamous and by some gays and lesbians who consider bisexuality merely a stage on the way to a gay or lesbian identity — or perhaps denial of such an identity. Bisexuals continue to suffer substantial discrimination and abuse.”
Sexual fluidity, bisexuality, pansexuality and queerness are acceptable forms of sexuality. It is not enough to show tolerance of “simple” homosexuals, while acting skeptical toward categories beyond the labels of gay and straight. Perhaps, homosexuals are easier to “understand” because we have a strong desire to label ourselves into neat little boxes; man, woman, gay, straight. Humans are not that simple. Not every female identifies as a woman. We label these “confusing” identifications as deviant because it’s easier than trying to understand people that may be fundamentally different to us in expression of gender and sexuality.
Public acceptance should not be affected by our private choices. Across the country, LGBTQ individuals and groups celebrated National Coming Out Day. Let us remember that our underlying culture forces people to come out in the first place. It speaks to our continued backwardness that everyone is assumed to be straight. No one who is heterosexual or cisgender feels the need to come out as they’re accepted as the norm. For everyone else, in order to be comfortable with their identities, they are given the option to come out. The decision to come out is extremely brave and I commend anyone who chooses to do this. You pave the way for others to accept themselves. But we need to consider why we need to distinguish gay and transgender people as separate. Perhaps one day, there will no longer be a need to celebrate “coming out” and society will accept identities without the use of labels.