‘Tis the season for big dinners with friends and family. If you’re lucky, maybe a significant other sits by your side while your family criticizes the choices you’ve made in school (let’s just say my family wasn’t too pleased with my decision to become a sex columnist). While you’re filling up your plates with turkey and gravy and butter, just keep in mind what all that food will do to your sex life. If you think your date will be down for sex after consuming a stockpile of food, you’ve found a keeper. For everyone else, here are the do’s and don’ts of pre-intercourse dining.
Some of the holiday classics that we all crave yearlong are our worst enemies in bed. When I think of the holiday dinner table I picture ham, mashed potatoes, gravy and brussels sprouts covered in bacon. Unless you want to feel bloated and sweaty during intercourse, steer clear. For example, mashed potatoes slathered in gravy sit heavy in the intestinal tract. If you’re lactose intolerant like me, too much dairy will cause indigestion and leave you gassy. In the bedroom, gassy is not a desirable feeling. Unless it is, in which case, do your thing, but please keep it to yourself.
Even lighter holiday fare can kill the vibe. On a holiday evening, dinner table vegetables should be avoided if you want to get lucky. Vegetables like broccoli, brussels sprouts and cauliflower are all known to release methane when broken down. When there’s methane, there’s gas. I can’t tell you what ruins a mood more than a few stinky toots.
On the bright side, sweet potatoes are one of my favorite holiday vegetables. They’re great for balancing blood pressure and key to combating erectile dysfunction. So if all else fails, plop a few extra sweet potatoes on your plate and see what happens later. The main course, turkey, isn’t as bad as you think, either. A good, lean protein allows you to keep up your strength and stamina. Just don’t have too much, because the last thing you want is to find yourself tripped up by tryptophan, leaving you sluggish and most definitely not at your best.
Now who doesn’t love a good glass of wine or maybe a sweet fall harvest beer to accompany the meal? I know I do, but too much alcohol is one of the worst things to consume before sex. Too much alcohol leaves your body less sensitive to touch. Some say it even weakens orgasms. Alcohol leaves you feeling sleepy as well, so unless you plan on sleeping on your partner, limit your drinks to one or two. Drink a lot of water instead. Staying hydrated leaves you mentally and physically alert and rearing to go. You need that extra water to secrete those sexual fluids essential to bedroom play.
The holidays are the perfect opportunity to eat, veg out and be with the ones you love. If you want to have sex during this magical time, then there are quite a few items you’re going to want to cut out of your diet. Personally, I recommend you fill your plate with as many buttery dishes as you desire, cover everything with gravy and drink as much wine as you want. There’s always the day after the holiday for sex. But holidays only come once a year, so enjoy the food while it lasts.