“I want to live in a world where little girls are not pinkified, but where little girls who like pink are not punished for it, either. We can certainly talk about the social pressures surrounding gender roles, and the concerns that people have when they see girls and young women. But, let’s stop acting like women who choose to be feminine are somehow colluders, betraying the movement in general. Let’s stop denying women their own autonomy by telling them that their expressions of femininity are bad and wrong.”

“Get your antifeminity out of my feminism!”

Does the fact that I am a woman in heels and shockingly red lipstick mean that I am never to be taken seriously due to my femme orientation? Sadly, it seems to me that Western interpretations of femininity are increasingly rigid and ironically misogynist in their own right, in direct contrast to what feminists are trying so hard to fight.

My recent research has shown that this is a concept that Western feminists seem to have lost sight of, as opposed to many Eastern (and specifically Indian) feminist movements. In fact, the main criticism of psychological research focused on female advancement in India has centered on the need to extricate from derived (Western) paradigms.

As it stands, India, as well as much of the rest of the world, upholds a more collectivist view of the female sex that is still enormously valued within religious dogmas and society in general. I continuously struggle with and reject the overstated and overcompensated way femininity is now treated in the West. Can we find a cross-cultural middle-path between femininity and anti- femininity?
By telling feminine women that they don’t belong in the feminist movement, one reinforces the idea that to be both feminine and a proud woman is wrong. At its core, feminism advances equal rights for women. I am the first one to demand a liberal society where women have the exact same stakes and opportunities as anyone else.

It should not, however, be about suppressing femininity as if it’s something dirty or wrong. This type of rhetoric from self-avowed feminists largely takes place in highly individualistic Western societies and alleges that women who want to be taken seriously need to be more masculine. (Most people view gender presentation in binary ways; women who want to be taken seriously in modern times ultimately need to be “one of the boys”).

Femininity used to be about women not having to live up to and meet ridiculous appearance standards in order not to be dismissed. This was a good — no, great — thing. However, it seems as though there has now been a shift to adopt the over-the-top principles that “femininity is bad” and “overtly feminine women should be punished.”

Psychologists Michelle Fingeret and David Gleaves studied women’s general body dissatisfaction from a sociocultural perspective. Their structural modeling analysis showed that internalized body image issues were in no way correlated with enhanced feminism and were actually the most prevalent in the West.

The way that very early feminists changed society, by way of enhancing fundamental, broad political and social rights, as well as more personal domestic labor attributes and sexual roles cannot be overemphasized. They did not have utopian goals, but more realistic ones. I appreciate the great progress over time. I understand that it is a peculiar notion to want to fight Western feminists’ attack on femininity.

But my own desires are my own; I absolutely love being a woman and find no hindrances at all upon my opportunities and well-being. It does not escape my notice that the movement at hand essentially posits how to rid oneself of girly-girl attributes. Ladies, you can be successful, beautiful and feminine all at once. One can only hope that our surrounding environment catches on.