So, you had that casual hookup last night. Now what do you do?
It may be Springhamton all of the sudden, and the student body has seemingly grown from 2,000 to 20,000, but you know that you’re still going to bump into him or her every time you pass through the Marketplace. There are a few noble options to take, and there are others that are just straight-up rude. I also think there are major differences regarding what’s acceptable for those who are heterosexual and those who are homosexual, especially considering how open someone on campus is with their sexuality.
I know I’ve blatantly ignored some people in the past, so hopefully y’all can learn from my regrets a bit.
For all intents and purposes, a lot of people partake in hooking up, whether it’s though Tinder, Grindr, Brenda, or the old fashioned way: simply meeting while blacked out on the weird dance floor at the back of The Rat. After that walk of shame, there is always that next potentially shameful moment: running into them.
For me, as a flamboyant and easily spottable gay man, it’s hard to avoid this moment. Now, an important thing to remember for gay men and women and all the other gender identities out there: everyone is at a different level of openness regarding their sexuality. For starters, if I know my hookup is still very much in the closet, I certainly won’t acknowledge his existence unless he acknowledges mine first. This seems the most acceptable etiquette to follow, simply because I do not want to be the one to out anyone.
The next major determining factor is usually that bit of guilt and fear of judgment lingering in the back of my head. For some reason, we like to shame ourselves before we let others shame us. I can be straight-up rude on days like these, and you can be waving or trying to speak to me, and I’ll just keep my headphones and sunglasses on as a barrier so no one can see me react to you. This is something I do not want to condone. It is 2015, y’all, and we cannot continue to shame the concept of being sexual beings. It is very simple to be cordial and polite and simply wave back. Perhaps, you can even spark a conversation — maybe you’ll get lucky and realize that your hookup can be more than that guy you let in after your housemates are all asleep.
Now, for the straight people out there: a lot of the same advice can work for you, too, but you don’t have to worry about outing anyone. So, whether you’re a senior just moments away from bouncing out of here or a freshman who just touched a boob for the first time (ladies, this one can be for you, too), we need to remember to account for other people’s feelings. Instead of doing what I usually do, let’s at least try to acknowledge one another.
There is no reason for anyone to feel shameful for following their carnal passions. You’re not a slut just because you hook up, and you’re certainly not better than anyone because you pretend you don’t.