A friend once reminded me that there is no true way to know if you are making the right or wrong decision. Instead, you need to trust your body. At the end of the day, your body will allow you to rest easy if you are being honest with yourself, but if you’re pursuing only what your mind tells you to pursue, your body will argue with itself. I’ve often pondered this advice in reflecting on my career decision.
This past week I was asked, “If money was no factor, what would your dream job be?” I laughed and said, “social work,” and then I realized I am pursuing it. For most of my life, I believed that I wanted to be a social worker. It encompasses everything I wanted for my career, along with the flexibility I desired, but the title’s mediocre income was less appealing. I thought, if I have the potential to be whatever I wish to be, why would I limit myself to a career that will make my financial life difficult?
I thought, shouldn’t I pursue a career in which financial troubles are less of an issue? Yet, as I developed, I recognized the importance that social workers hold and believed my strengths and goals align with the field. Therefore, I shoved aside my grandmother’s anger which was bottled up for when I confirmed I would not go to law school, and instead began to begin my process to apply to schools. As motivation was running smoothly, I quickly remembered I was surrounded by friends pursuing careers through the School of Management. Needless to say, my fears of neglecting potential financial burdens quickly came back.
Instead of continuing with the process, I began to seek answers. I asked each one of my family members what they thought I should do. I called family friends in the field of social work, watched TED Talks and spoke to friends currently enrolled in schools about whether or not they believed I should pursue this career. I thought, maybe I should take time off? Maybe I should settle for a boring job that will make me money, and then go back to school? Yet, deep down, that saddened me. Selling out has never been an option, and it will not begin now.
This decision I have made has been one I have known for too long. It has dug into my gut, and is now something I feel I cannot give up on. Yet, my fear or regret is constantly sneaking up on me, although it’s difficult to fathom why. As we walk out the doors on graduation day, we will finally be at the point in our lives where there is minimal pressure to follow a next path. The path is up to us, and that is scary for the potential regret and disappointment that is only pointed toward us.
Each decision we make feels like the final decision. It feels as though one wrong move can be the end of our lives. When my friends get offers that are double my projected income, I can’t help but think I am making the wrong decision. But, at the end of the day, it’s easy to understand.
We spend more time focusing on whether or not we are making the right decision, than on the decision itself. While my mind doubts itself sometimes, I trust that my body knows this is the right decision for me. Therefore, while I may cringe at my desire to pursue a career where money isn’t a factor, I can settle with the knowledge that I will get some sleep.
Sarah Saad is a senior double-majoring in human development and women, gender and sexuality studies.