Dear Sarah,
I constantly find myself settling for those who are clearly not good enough for me. I’m not insinuating that I am a fantastic person, but it is obvious that the ones I keep falling for are using me, yet I keep going back. How can I find the energy to be single and happy rather than used and comforted?
Sincerely,
Single and “Happy”
Dear “Happy,”
As Binghamton Crushes continues to blow up and Tinder continues to disappoint, it is easy to turn back to those who hurt us the most. Why? Because we think that the “norm” is being in a relationship and we want to be part of that norm. But here is the inside scoop…
First, the negative stigma associated with being single is false. It does not mean you are any less of a person, it does not mean you lack quality and it does not mean you are not beautiful. Second, it’s important to recognize that single and happy are two separate variables. Your relationship status does not determine your happiness; your happiness is up to you. Third, it’s very easy to find comfort in what my friends and I refer to as “the emotional D” (the late night sweet talks and sympathetic gestures that usually follow with a hookup).
Agreeing to be in a relationship where you are used means you are agreeing to degrade yourself. You do not need somebody to make you feel intelligent, you do not need somebody to make you feel beautiful and you do not need somebody to make you feel worthwhile. Being happy and being single will happen once you understand you’re worth it.
Yours truly,
Sarah