You see someone you know approaching from the other end of the hall and you’re both on a non-stop trip to the vending machine of your choice, or work — whatever we’re calling it these days. Either way, you both know that you’re not going to have a real conversation. No stops. No exceptions. Sound cruel? Remember, you have things to do. That junk in your trunk isn’t going to pack itself.
How to do it: There are many ways this quick interaction can take place; it all depends on what type of person you want to be and how you respond to the simple, “How are you?”
1. If you want to be: Mysterious
Opt for the “Oh, you know” and a little wink. If at all possible, say this while doing a quick spin facing this person and taking a few steps backwards (in your planned direction). Casual, yet engaging. You don’t care about what people think; hell, you’re walking backwards.
2. If you want to be: The Downer
I would suggest going with the classic long sigh quickly followed by a barely audible “I could be better.” You’ll know you’re successful if they pretend they didn’t hear you and shout over their shoulder, “Great to hear!”
3. If you want to be: The Chatty Kathy
“Oh, thanks for asking! Well, Todd and I have actually been looking into a timeshare down in Florida for a while now. I think I told you that my parents moved down there three years ago. They said it was too cold here! Can you believe it? Too cold! They kill me!” After your initial “thanks for asking,” the likelihood of this person still being in the same hallway as you is slim, but stick with it; you’re doing this for a reason. You’ve almost secured your position as the most feared person in the office. Most feared, you ask? Prompting me to ask, is there anyone else more worth avoiding?
4. If you want to be: Normal
You can’t go wrong with “I’m great! You?” And if it’s a long hallway: “Some weather we’re having!”
5. If you want to be: Me
Don’t react to the greeting at all until the person has already passed. After five seconds, when it registers, laugh nervously to yourself for being caught off guard. Next, process the information. “What? OH! How am I?” Then, after deciding that thinking is too hard, disregard the actual words and just guess what they asked. With a big smile, look over your shoulder and shout, “NOT MUCH!”