Spotted: Nineteen-year-old sophomore exiting Delaware Hall, stilettos in hand, in what you could swear is the same outfit she wore to JT’s last night. As you approach her, you’re faced with two possible options.
A: You can avert your eyes and feign fascination with your BlackBerry.
B: You can be an asshole and stare until eye contact is achieved and her pride has plummeted to zero.
Whichever option you choose, though, does not take away from the reality of what is at hand: a classic case of the walk of shame.
Whether you’re a boy or a girl, it can (and probably will) happen to you. Whether you bring a change of clothes or are still stumbling in your heels, your walk will be shameful. Whether you leave the room at 7 a.m. to avoid people or exit during prime hours of publicity, it’s the same.
While we’re on this topic, we might as well cover how a walk of shame is formulated. On the prowl at the bars, it is easy to come across a fellow student heading toward that fateful morning walk. And so it begins.
Step one: Said creeper musters up his pride and makes his way on over. He might ask if you want to dance or be bold enough to just grab you, but all that really matters is whether he does the signature “turn-around” move which is key for a hookup.
Step two: If you reciprocate, a drink or two may be bought as he builds up the courage to ask those fateful words, “Wanna go back?”
Step three: You go back. You wake up in the morning looking (and feeling) like a wreck. You walk back to your dorm, people see you and your life is pretty much filled with embarrassment.
If you really hit it off though, you might get a text asking to hang out again on Saturday night. Hopefully you’ve elected a candidate with enough sense to just request to see you again, but if not … you’ve strayed into the realm of the DTF-ers.
Now you’re probably thinking, does anyone really say that? But you’d be surprised. Maybe it’s because people became more aware of how vulgar the actual phrase sounds. Or maybe people just don’t feel like typing out the whole question via text. Either way, DTF was born.
You might find this terminology ridiculous. I mean, when you think about it, I’m sure there are better ways to go about asking someone to hook up than a three letter signal.
On the other hand, though, this is college. Sometimes people are just looking for a good time with no strings attached. You can’t expect much, if anything, from a DTF-er besides, well, the F.
So next time you’re out and you get that text, respond wisely. There’s not much sympathy for a walk-of-shamer. Don’t say you weren’t warned.