Generally, I like to think that I’m a pretty agreeable guy. I once had a short temper, I admit that. However, things have cooled down, and I find myself with the temperament of a lamb rather than a lion these days. However, sometimes things happen in the sporting world that send me into a tirade that causes some of the folks in this office to flee for higher ground or scurry under their desks like they are participating in an air raid drill. So here’s a short list of a few people that have caused me to go off the deep end lately:

1. Michael Phelps — Once America’s sweetheart, Mr. Phelps was recently photographed using a bong, which most people would agree, is a device used for smoking marijuana. My issue here does not lie with him participating in the behavior, nor am I condemning him for being a bad role model. My problem is that during an interview Phelps said, “I know with all of the mistakes I made, I learned from them and that is what I expect to do from this. By no means is it fun for me, by no means is it easy.”

OK, deep breath here.

Why should it be fun?! Why should it be easy?! I am sick of pro athletes doing something wrong and then saying, “Whoops, sorry, I made a mistake.” I understand that everyone is human, but come on. However, at the same time, I do applaud Phelps for not trying to pretend that he wasn’t smoking. I figured that the second the story broke we were going to get the “I thought it was a device for treating asthma,” or, “I just wanted to see how it worked” excuse. So for that, a round of applause. USA Swimming suspended Phelps for three months on Thursday, so at least he’s being punished in some respect.

2. Manny Ramirez — Who in their right mind turns down a one-year, $25 million contract? Manny “Being Manny” Ramirez, that’s who. The Los Angeles Dodgers gave Manny a 48-hour timetable in which to accept or reject their disgustingly huge contract. Reportedly, Manny took less than 10 minutes to rebuff the offer. That means, without much more than a casual thought, he shrugged off more money than I’ll likely ever make in my lifetime. Does he want a team to just offer him the entire club as collateral? This is just another classic case of athletes demanding more and more money to play a game. That’s what they get paid to do: play a game. I could go on for days about that, but I’ll save that for another time.

3. David Beckham — Even though he’s British, Beckham was once a golden boy here in the States. Even those who had no idea that he played soccer knew who he was. I mean, he did marry a Spice Girl. My problem with Becks is this: He signed a ridiculous contract to play soccer for the L.A. Galaxy two years ago, and has hardly played since. The team, desperate to get some value out of him, loaned him to A.C. Milan, a highly touted European club. Becks has since stated that he’d rather stay back in Europe, where he is a soccer God, than come back to L.A. and actually, oh, I don’t know, honor his contract!

4. Stephon Marbury — Here’s a case of an athlete not doing what he’s paid to do. Marbury has completely disregarded the idea of competition. Once the New York Knicks hired him as their new head coach, Mike D’Antoni announced that no one would be given free rides and everyone would compete for a job. Marbury lost his starting spot to Chris Duhon and has been acting like a spoiled little child ever since. He has even gone on to say that he doesn’t understand why the Knicks won’t like release him or let him sign with another team, namely the Boston Celtics. Perhaps, Mr. Marbury, it’s because they would like you to play for the team with which you are currently signed. That’s such a novel approach, players playing for the teams that they are paid to play for. Wow, isn’t that a great idea?

5. Barry Bonds — You cheated. We all know you cheated. Just admit it and end this charade.