What you are about to read shouldn’t surprise you. Hollywood stars breaking up, getting married, denying gay rumors and (for some “stars”) succeeding in Germany should not come as a shock to any of you who routinely read Us Weekly cover-to-cover. Hollywood, you are so predictable, but we love you anyway.
Top Five
1) Heather Locklear and David Spade end their fling. Locklear, who leaned on Spade following her divorce from Richie Sambora, finally made an appointment to get her vision checked. She found that while she still maintains the same slammin’ figure from her “Melrose” days, it was time to call Spade a spade … or just ugly.
2) Oprah for president? A man in Kansas City has spent nearly $60,000 on his own campaign to get Oprah Winfrey to run for president in 2008. She has my vote, unless Dr. Phil is running for VP.
3) If they can’t make it work … After 14 years of marriage, diva Whitney Houston and bad boy Bobby Brown, have called it quits. I guess she didn’t mean it when she said, “I Will Always Love You.” And the question still remains: will she always love crack?
4) TomKat to finally wed. I was beginning to lose sleep over whether these two would finally tie the knot. According to sources, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes both want a quiet ceremony with just family and friends. But don’t be surprised if their wedding happens to fall within a few days of one of their big movie premieres.
5) Engagement off! Eighteen-year-old Aaron Carter has called off his engagement to his older brother’s former girlfriend, 22-year-old Playmate/model Kari Ann Peniche. And we thought this one had lasting love written all over it. The reception at Chuck E. Cheese’s could have been so beautiful. Sigh.
What’s In
Television shows based on “Saturday Night Live”
NBC is taking a chance by signing not one, but two new TV shows based on SNL. There’s the drama “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip,” starring Matthew Perry, and “30 Rock,” starring creator and yes, former SNLer, Tina Fey. It looks like NBC cares more about these shows than the actual show they were based on.
What’s Out
“Saturday Night Live”
It feels like every year, I seem to think the show keeps getting worse and worse. But how much worse can it be now that Tina Fey and Rachel Dratch (a.k.a. Debbie Downer) have left for “30 Rock?” I suggest bringing back Cheri Oteri and Jimmy Fallon, and any other former SNLer whose career hasn’t taken off the way they planned.
Say What?
“At some point it becomes just really rude, you know? I don’t understand why it’s any of your business.”
— Clay Aiken to Diane Sawyer on “Good Morning America,” referring to the question of his sexuality.
Doesn’t he realize all the cool kids are coming out? Aiken needs to take a page from Lance Bass’ book to realize admitting you are gay is a load off your back. Otherwise you’re stuck with the name Clay Gaykin.
What to look forward to next week:
Germany loves Paris Hilton, who was in the country to promote her new album. She shares something in common with David Hasselhoff, whose music career in America leaves something to be desired. Who’s next? Odds tell me that with Germany’s surprisingly low standards, Kevin Federline’s album will fly to the top of the charts in Deutschland.