A few days ago, a close friend of mine asked me if I could answer what she called ‘an ethical question.’ She proceeded to relay her previous weekend, when she was on a road trip with several gal pals. There, she met a ‘gorgeous French-Italian socialite’ ‘ and bedded him. The problem was that she had been in a serious relationship for about six months and because the one night of passion left her feeling guilt ridden, she ended it. Her question was: ‘Is it wrong for me to get back with him?’

Now, I’m thoroughly against cheating ‘ it just doesn’t make any sense to me. If you don’t want to be committed, stay single. So I told her that if he wasn’t worth being faithful to, she clearly doesn’t need him in her life that way. I feel like most people can agree with this type of reasoning, so why is it so easy for people to cheat?

So I’ll give you a background check of this friend first. This is a girl who is above average attractive ‘ and she’s intelligent. This gives her a certain power, and she’s aware of it. She’s not mean, nor is she heartless, it’s just that the above is a deadly combination. However, this combo alone won’t make the average person feel the necessity to cheat. So what else? Well, there are people who know how to manipulate, and there are people who don’t. Most females know. Add in the elements of being precocious and proud, and you have a serious mixture of a potentially deceitful vixen.

People cheat because they can. The reason people say ‘once a cheater, always a cheater’ is because, like any mastered task, the cheater feels the rush of power and gets addicted. The sense of power they get gives them a conscious control over the person they cheat on. They feel like they can do it, get away with it, and in turn, their respect for the person they cheat on steadily declines.

I explained this to my friend and she agreed. She said she didn’t want to be caged by anyone, and though she kept her infidelity a secret, it was her own way of reassuring herself that she was in control. She also felt that because she could take advantage of her boyfriend, there was something missing. However, she still wanted to get back with him, because he was a good person.

Side note: The ‘good’ and the ‘nice’ are always the people getting screwed over. This isn’t to say they’re weak or deserving, but perhaps they should be a little more in tune with their partners, more cautious and maybe a little more dominant.

Though my friend’s actions are understandable, they might not be forgivable. If you find yourself to be disloyal because of the control you get and/or because your partner is more submissive than you are and you feel like you have power over him or her, then you probably shouldn’t be with that person. It’s not fair to put others through a hurtful process, even if they never find out. People shouldn’t get seriously involved if they find their eyes wandering. If they need the control, they should do something productive instead; become a leader of some sort.

It’s difficult to tell people what they should and shouldn’t do, but one thing is for sure: most people wouldn’t want to be in the situation where someone is unfaithful to them.

‘ Nicole Zimmerman is a sophomore psychology major. She encourages you to stay single if you want to mingle.