You’ve seen them around. There’s probably one in every single one of your classes. They swim to class together and sit together, whispering sweet nothings into the other’s ear during lecture. You can always find them at the dining hall, nibbling on a piece of noodle until their lips meet in the middle.
I am talking, of course, about the ever-so-annoying “let’s spend every waking moment together because we’re so in love” couple. Known more commonly as the “clingy couple,” this annoyance is almost impossible to escape.
This type of couple is always together, giving the impression that its two halves are permanently attached at the hip. Whenever one does anything, the other will always follow. Students engaged in this type of relationship will often register to take all their courses together, regardless of whether or not their majors are completely different. It doesn’t matter, because they cannot stand to be separated even for a moment.
I find that it is more commonly the girls that perpetrate this “clingy couple” syndrome (though the disorder can be extreme in males as well).
Several of my female friends have recently become virtually impossible to get into a room unaccompanied, because: “No, I cannot bear to leave my baby for even a second.” This is incredibly frustrating, because although I may not mind the boyfriend, I certainly will not feel comfortable telling my friend about these killer menstrual cramps that I’ve been having, with him right there listening to every single word I say.
Girls, you do not need to permanently attach yourself to your boyfriend in order to have a long, well-functioning relationship. While having things in common with your sweetie is healthy for any relationship, it’s only good in moderation. Don’t worry, you won’t run out of things to talk to him about if you’re not together every second of the day. In fact, you may find that it will add a little spice to your relationship. For example, every time I come back to campus from being away for a weekend, all those played-out jokes that my boyfriend likes to use until they cease to amuse me (you ladies know what I’m talking about!) seem funny again. Just think of it as a little metabolism booster for your love life.
Believe it or not, the clingy couple syndrome has even found its way into some long-distance relationships. That’s right, no relationship is immune. Some symptoms of this long-range clinginess include running straight home from class in order to spend 12 hours straight on the phone or in front of the Web cam talking to one’s beloved. Side effects may include a sudden loss of social life and complete neglect of personal hygiene.
Beware — you or someone you know may be suffering from clingy couple syndrome (CCS). However, not all is lost. If detected, this irritating condition is easily treatable. The most common form of treatment is, of course, getting your own life. This includes maintaining friends outside of the relationship. Having separate interests and hobbies doesn’t hurt either (join Pipe Dream, for example. We will be happy to have you!). Remember, it’s always better to be safe than sorry.
Polina Deryuga is a sophomore management and pre-law major. In a weird masochistic way, she likes receiving hate mail.