“I wanna go Downtown, but I’m not leaving until I can’t walk,” quoth the Drunk Girl. I can’t say I disagreed with her mantra, because if I can’t walk, then I probably wouldn’t get annoyed with the cesspool that is the State Street bar scene. Then again, that was the old me.

I’m not going to lie, I think my affinity for Downtown has grown over the past several weeks. The overpriced drinks and overcrowding have become “charming” qualities as opposed to vices. It’s good to get out with the people, but sometimes I want a little more variety than the five or so places they have down there.

That’s why Bar Crawl is such a great invention. Get a mug, take a walk, have some spirits, all the while having a tour-de-force of many Binghamton sousing establishments.

Unfortunately, the selection, even during the crawl, is but a shadow of its former glory.

Allow me to introduce to you the “Clinton Street Run,” or “Clinton Street Crawl.”

First off, “Clinton Street Crawl” was the predecessor to our present day “Bar Crawl,” and took place on Clinton Street with around 40 bars. However, even that was nothing compared to the original “Clinton Street Run.”

Clinton Street, located in Binghamton’s North Side, at one point had upward of 60 bars. Here’s where the “run” concept comes in: the concept was to have a drink at every place of business over the course of a night out. And this was a permanent event in the area, not something that happened once a year, and you needed a brightly colored cup to participate with.

Considering the availability of establishments, it was no small task to consume a beverage at each point. Needless to say, whenever a person went out on this sort of quest, dipsomania ensued. Those who completed it are truly heroes, not the once-a-year adventurers on “Bar Crawl.”

In present day Binghamton, there are still a number of public houses on Clinton Street, but as I said before, the selection is paltry compared to the stately days of yore. And very few BU students actually frequent those establishments; those who do: I commend you – you’re getting a true Binghamton inebriation experience.

Furthermore, though I was unable to confirm it, many of the people that I spoke with about “the Run” mentioned that it, at one point, made the Guinness Book of World Records. I’m not exactly sure for what, perhaps for the highest amount of consecutive drinking joints, or the most dangerous street in the world for someone in his 11th step of alcoholism recovery (incidentally, a disease discovered here in Binghamton).

Finally, I would just like to close out the year, and perhaps my tenure here at BU, with a request that you treat Bar Crawl as the beginning of your true intoxication relationship with Binghamton, not just a one night stand. (Besides Binghamton likes it when you call.)

Dan Lyons is a senior English and theater major, and he wishes he had a time machine so that he could experience “the Run.”