For some reason, every time I order from Bingmenus.com (and by every time, I mean the three times I have ordered), something ridiculous occurs. The concept for Bingmenus, an online food-ordering haven, is genius. Many a selection is available, from pizza to Thai, and desserts to calzones and each category has its own sub-links of restaurants to choose from.

Well, I decided to try this site out. I had ordered Chinese the first time, and was pleasantly surprised to see that there was an option where you can actually choose a specific time and date of delivery. The idea that I could order General Tso’s three days in advance, at a precise time mind you, and assume that I just might have a craving that particular day, was kind of amusing. Though after tinkering around with the menu and selecting choices, I decided that I probably did not want to wait three days ‘ I just wanted to wait 30 minutes.

That half an hour passed slowly, and an hour soon followed. Neither phone calls nor the sound of a doorbell ringing was heard. Disappointment followed.

Usually with tangible menus, there is a phone number offered to call, and though you typically get a ‘five minutes’ bullshit response, at least you know that they know that you exist. However, on this Web site, no number was offered. So I didn’t know if they could even locate the address.

Growing angrier with hunger, I decided to go out and forage for non-imaginary food. However, a couple hours later, ring ring ring ‘ and guess who? ‘Delivery?’ was asked by a meek voice on the other end.

After yelling at the poor boy about the incompetence of ‘ everything, he told me that he really had no idea about anything and he was just handed the order five minutes ago. So there was an apology, but a serious rage resided. I mean, I ordered two hours ago ‘ that’s just not cool.

After calming down a bit, about a month later all was forgiven and I decided to try a Mexican place on the same Web site ‘ big mistake. Now, being a loyal Moe’s Southwest Grill fan, I felt a sort of guilt trying out this new place, but their intriguing advertising drew me in like an avid consumer whore. So after selecting a few decent sounding items, I decided to learn from my past failure and looked up the actual place online to get a phone number. After calling, they answered the phone professionally, sounded enthusiastic and then ‘ they lied to me. They said I would be expecting an arrival in 20 minutes. And by 20 minutes, apparently they meant three hours.

Three hours later, an extremely upset Russian (that’s me) did get an arrival. That arrival could only be described as ‘bucket of crap.’ If you’ve ever been to Moe’s, you would understand that a burrito is a work of art, including seasoned rice, meat of your choice (or tofu if you swing that way), vegetables if you wish (unfortunately, I despise most vegetables) and maybe some cheese, if you’re feeling crazy. 😉

However, this Mexican place of lies did not give me such a burrito; what they gave me was a stale tortilla filled with white rice (clearly a taboo), some unflavored beef and some questionable leafy thing that I did not ask for! This burrito ended up in the garbage, and a quest for Moe’s was due.

I don’t recall the other Bingmenus adventure, but I’m sure it was as upsetting as the ones before. And I’d like to state that although these restaurants were on the site, I do not really hold Bingmenus responsible for any of these mishaps. In fact, the Web site is a great idea, but perhaps ordering in Binghamton in general is always an escapade gone wrong. Maybe if you order a few days in advance, you might just get it on time.

‘ Nicole Zimmerman is a sophomore psychology major. She strongly advises you to be wary of ordering around these parts.