San Francisco is in the midst of signing Barry Bonds to a one-year, $15.8 million contract to remain with the Giants through 2007 ‘ or $7.9 million for each shrunken testicle.

In response to recent celebration speculations, baseball officials have confirmed that if Bonds surpasses Hank Aaron’s all-time record, the new home run king will be immediately carried off the field, locked up in an empty room and forced to watch episodes of ‘Jim Rome is Burning’ for eternity.

What’s the over/under for how many Cincinnati Bengals will be arrested on Super Sunday?

According to recent reports, Miami is the favorite to host a regular season game in London next year, giving quarterback Joey Harrington the unique opportunity to be booed on a second continent.