Hatrick

NOV. 7, 5:00 p.m. – Walking from a class in Science IV, a 21-year-old student purloined another’s personal property. “The guy grabbed his hat and ran and now refuses to return the hat,” said Investigator Matthew C. Rossie, a spokesman for Binghamton’s New York State University Police. The 23-year-old complainant called the police, who visited the alleged thief’s dorm room in Glenwood Hall on campus. “He was not answering his door,” Rossie said. The case is still under investigation, and the student wants his hat back.

Textual harassment

NOV. 10, 12:58 a.m. – A girlfriend, fed up by what she said were repeated acts of harassment, reported her boyfriend to the University police. She alleges that he slapped her around, as well as sent her unwanted textmessages and called her too often. “He stated that he is coming to campus to talk to her,” Investigator Rossie said. The male is 20, she is 19. Although she lives in Marcy Hall in Mounainview, because the bulk of the incidents happened off campus, the police referred the student to the Broome County Sheriff.

It’s a dog-eat-permit world

NOV. 10, 11:02 a.m. – Students long ago retired the classic dog-ate-my-homework excuse. Sometimes, however, truth is better than fiction. This incident started back in September, when a driver with a faculty/staff parking pass reported to the police that she’d lost the parking decal. The cops replaced it and told her not to use the old one if she found it. Shortly thereafter, the woman got her old car back from the body shop and she found her old decal in the car. Her dog also found both. “The dog tears one of them up,” Rossie said. “She’s not sure which is old, which is new.” Wouldn’t fate have it that, as Investigator Rossie said, “The dog had chewed up the new one,” forcing the woman to unwittingly use the improper parking decal? Then, during routine patrol, a parking services attendant sighted the old decal and cited the driver, a charge the woman contested. “She actually had proof of the dog’s destruction of the other decal,” Rossie said. No charges were filed.

Remember the 80s

NOV. 10, 9:10 p.m. – Police referred a student to the campus judicial system after he came to claim missing property that contained a chalked N.Y. state driver’s license. “A gentleman lost his wallet and it was turned in to the University police.” According to the campus police report filed that night, the birth date of the students’ license had been chalked from 1988 to 1980.

Hughes mistake

NOV. 10 10:29 p.m. – BU police officers went to Hinman’s Hughes Hall to check out a marijuana complaint. They met with the dorm resident assistant, but they couldn’t find the smoker perpetrators, and they left.

— Matt Chayes