The Riddler, Two Face, Doc Oc, Lex Luthor: these are just a few of the many notorious villains that could surface at any moment in time and hold the world in peril unless a hero emerges to vanquish them to their seedy underground lairs.

Despite how relevant they are, those comic book heroes are rarely an issue. Come to think of it, they’re always an issue, but that issue usually has a number or “collector’s edition” stamp on it. However, in real life, the villains are much more ghastly.

Allow me to introduce to you one of Binghamton’s most notorious and devious villains, who has captivated the masses over the past several decades: the Naked Jogger.

Now, I realize the title of “Naked Jogger” isn’t exactly the most threatening of names, but his actions spoke much louder than the words associated with him.

No one really knows where he came from, but at some point in history, the once clothed man who was the alter-ego of the Naked Jogger decided to unleash his birthday suit on the city of Binghamton. But this wasn’t a one-time occasion. The man was essentially a serial-nude-runner.

Throughout the course of the 2002-2003 nude-jogging season, he would resurface and saunter through the various parking garages in downtown Binghamton. During his workout session, an unsuspecting and unfortunate consumer would spot him and his unadorned glory. Needless to say, the sight of male mechanics bouncing up and down with every stride was usually too much for the onlooker.

The strongest would run away and tell the police; the weak would collapse as it was their only defense. The true mystery, however, was how he escaped capture.

Every time the police went to subdue this nude threat, they would only find a parking garage full of fully dressed individuals completely unaware of the naked plight that nearly bedazzled them all.

Despite the terror, I’m willing to wager that some find him to be a role model.

I certainly can’t blame those believers. After all, the Naked Jogger is a fairly good example in the world of nude heroes and villains. He’s like the athletic brother of New York’s Naked Cowboy. Instead of standing around strumming a guitar and posing with the tourists, the Naked Jogger is living an active life and showing what can be done by avoiding lethargy.

I realize that I started this column by making the Naked Jogger to be a sort of villain, and then turned him into a sort of hero. Maybe it was because of a low word count, maybe it wasn’t. Either way, don’t we all hope to find a hero in our most sinister villains? Don’t we?

Dan Lyons is a senior studying English and theatre. He has never gone nude jogging, but has peformed a nude spaceflight.