Gun safety an issue for veep

Vice President Dick Cheney shot a man with whom he was hunting Saturday afternoon, reported Fox News. According to a member of the hunting party, the victim, Harry Whittington, an attorney from Austin, Texas, had shot at a covey of quail and gone off to search for his kill. Cheney later spun and fired at another covey, unaware that Whittington was positioned in that direction. Whittington is recovering at a hospital in Corpus Christi, Texas.

The Toilet: it’s heaven, backwards

Nevaeh Newman was born in a toilet. The Associated Press reported Tuesday that Nevaeh’s mother, Salina, was only six months pregnant when she “went to the restroom and the baby [was] in the toilet.” Newman thought she had experienced a miscarriage, but was surprised when a police officer arrived on the scene and determined that the newborn was still alive. “The baby was enclosed in the sac and everything,” AP reported.

Fliering is child’s play

“Don’t play here. Child molester lives here,” stated a sign that Carolyn Hansen of Bella Vista, Ark., posted on her neighbor’s door, according to the Associated Press. Local police found two problems with Hansen’s actions: the first problem was that although citizens have the right to know when a sex offender moves in, they are not allowed to use that information to harass that offender. The second problem was that she put her signs in front of the wrong house.

Head-ing home

The San Francisco Chronicle reported Friday that Myrlene Severe, 30, was stopped by customs officials at the Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport after screeners realized that she had a human head in her luggage. Severe, who practices voodoo, said that the head was intended to “ward off evil spirits.” Barbara Gonzalez, a spokeswoman for U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement in Miami, commented, “It still had teeth, hair and bits of skin and lots of dirt.”

Lo mein, lo morals?

Scandalous fortune cookies disrupted a charity event raising money for low-income children to attend summer camp. Mixed in with the 1,750 other fortune cookies served at the event were 350 X-rated ones. The event was hosted by Brooklyn Borough President Marty Markowitz, who described the cookies as “graphically lurid.” “They were probably meant for a very raunchy bachelor party,” Markowitz is reported to have told Reuters.