Here’s a little trivia question for all you readers out there. What has the ability to split up friendships that have survived for years? What is the one “woman” that can come between brothers?

The answer is fantasy football, and she’s a cruel mistress.

There is no rational explanation for why I sit with my eyes glued to my computer screen watching score updates for football games that I should have no interest in. Does anyone truly care about the Bengals-Chiefs game on Dec. 28? The teams are a combined 3-20-1 as of this moment. But for all of those people who have a fantasy gem on their roster like Cincinnatti receiver Chad “Ocho Cinco” Johnson, or Kansas City tight end Tony Gonzalez.

For those four quarters of football, it doesn’t matter that those players are currently on the roster of a team that would match up well against most Pop Warner teams. For those 60 minutes (or more, if that barn-burner of a game goes into overtime), that game might as well be the Super Bowl; every minute detail needs to be observed.

Drafting these teams is an art. You need guys who will score touchdowns, but then you also need a defense that will prevent them. Your kicker needs to be able to drill long field goals in addition to the obligatory extra points. My draft took place at the day camp that I worked at this past summer. Counselors nearly came to blows on more than one occasion over an individual choosing a player that another person had coveted. My third-round selection of Saints QB Drew Brees was met with expletives by a person I had until that moment called a friend. And I took great delight in defeating him head-to-head in Week 3. I can neither confirm nor deny if there were obscenities exchanged that week over Brees, who threw for 421 yards.

I am ashamed to say that I have actually had mini panic attacks while finalizing my fantasy roster on Sunday morning. I have sat in my apartment screaming at absolutely no one, “Should I start Derrick Ward or Leon Washington?! Ward will get more yardage, but Leon is more explosive!”

And anyone who knows me can tell you about the meltdown I had when my second running back, Laurence Maroney, went down for the season with a shoulder injury in Week 5. I believe I might have thrown things.

Needless to say, fantasy football is something that has the ability to ruin a perfectly wonderful day for someone. Granted that “someone” needs to be banking on Gus Frerotte throwing for 300 yards and three TDs, but still.