Lock:

Dallas (–4) over Giants

Aristotle once said, “With great power comes great responsibility.” I have been cursed by the NFL gods to always be wrong about my NFL picks. But my curse this week becomes a gift for fans of the New York Football Giants. Tony Romo is the new Tom Brady and the Cowboys are suddenly the best team in the NFL, while Eli Manning is considering changing his last name. Everything about Dallas is clicking right now; even T.O. hasn’t noticed what Romo’s last name rhymes with. I never thought I’d bet against Big Blue, but there is no way the Giants can win this game. And if I’m wrong, like I always am, at least I will have had a hand in a Giants victory. (Unless, of course, the Cowboys win by three, then I’m going to hang myself.)

Upset Special:

Cleveland (+6) over Kansas City

Kansas City has actually looked like a legitimate playoff team lately, which is precisely why they’ll suffer this week at the Dawg Pound, because nothing in the NFL makes sense anymore.

Game 1:

Tennessee (+8) over Indianapolis

Vince Young looked incredible for the Titans last week, and after a “prove it” game against the Eagles last Sunday, look for Peyton and the Colts to play down to Tennessee’s level early and then squeeze out a win by two or three.

Game 2:

New Orleans (–7) over San Francisco

I’m not sure how the 49ers are still hanging around as a potential playoff team, but their delusions of grandeur will end this week at the hands of the Saints.