Women’s tennis records keep falling, with Lya Kushnirovich right on Zeynep Altinay’s tail. Billy Crystal already has signed on to direct “70*,” a movie chronicling the two teammates’ epic pursuit of the legendary Lisa Denerstein and the hardships the two teammates face from the unruly Binghamton women’s tennis fans (not named Chris Strub).

The women’s soccer team won 4-0 last week, yet head coach Jeff Leightman still wasn’t satisfied. Apparently Leightman was upset because the fans were disapointed that his team failed to rip their jerseys off in celebration, Brandi Chastain style, after the game.

Men’s soccer coach Paul Marco has been playing junior goalie Ryan Bertoni in the field. Someone’s been watching too much “Mighty Ducks.” Sorry, coach, Bertoni might not give you the same results that Goldberg gave Coach O’Ryan.

Welcome back Hideki Matsui, all you could do was go 4-4 in your debut? Give me a break. Gary Sheffield will come back and go 0-5 with two strikeouts, but at least he’ll throw a fit in the dugout worthy of Billy Martin. Hopefully next season the Yanks will get smart and sign BU outfielder Jeff Monaco.