It’s getting to be holiday season — you can tell because, as of this weekend, when you left your dorm room, any sensitive parts of your body started wondering when the abuse would cease. Other than the cold, there’s Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day … all of that good stuff on the way.

And it’s with that in mind that a brewery and beer distributor created “Santa’s Butt” beer. The name is a pun on the fact that you’re looking at Santa’s generous assets when you see the label, as well as at a “butt” of beer (if you don’t know what a “butt” is, be sure to ask that relative you see over the holidays who is always getting drunk and causing problems).

However, Santa’s Butt is causing a bit of commotion in Maine, and was causing quite a stir in New York. Various state governments have voiced their objections over having an alcoholic beverage representing Santa.

My question is: Why? Tons of celebrities have endorsed alcohol indirectly in real life, why not allow a fictional character to get his piece of the endorsement pie? If Coca-Cola can be represented by Santa for 75 years and use him as an advertising ploy, isn’t it a bit hypocritical to say that Santa can’t endorse an alcoholic beverage? I think so.

And before you start thinking “but it’s ALCOHOL, not Coke you’re talking about,” I’ll take the time to acknowledge that, but defend it by saying that if cigarette companies can target underage customers while governments turn a more or less blind eye, isn’t it a bit two-faced to say that a beer that has Santa’s “butt” (something that should appeal to NO CHILD) on the label should be taken off shelves?

I mean, I don’t even drink, but if it tasted good enough and I was in the holiday spirit, why not drink a festive brew dedicated to Santa? Just make sure your younger, more gullible siblings or extended family members don’t see it. I mean, I’m personally for having holiday flavored drinks. Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas for me without eggnog and sparkling grape juice. Because I am that much of a loser.

But in closing, just as a question, I want to ask you: Who IS right, the brewers claiming that taking this beer off the shelves constitutes censorship and a violation of free speech? Or the state governments (New York, Maine, Ohio, North Carolina) who believe the label (which I’ve included for your viewing pleasure) “appeals to children” and should be taken off the shelves?

— Pete Groh is a freshman. He thinks that if you give him enough time and get him a subscription to the New York Times, his articles might be more fun to read by the time he graduates. Maybe.