Some women are feminists, but I am a “manist.” Like most people who argue for the equality of the sexes, I like to stir up controversy just so I can hear myself talk.

You know what has really gotten my panties all in a bunch? This Greek God competition! I mean, who do these AEPhi girls think they are, forcing men to oil themselves down and parade around in underwear fit for a Victoria’s Secret model? And to think, they pass this off as a charity event when in fact all they want to do is stare at the guys and get all hot and bothered.

Greek God degrades men just as badly as a good blumpkin degrades a female. If we want to decide who the best man in greek life is, we should put him through rigorous academic questioning while wearing a down parka.

OK, enough with making fun of the opposition.

Seriously, I have always ridden the fence on greek life. One day I hate it, the next day I love it. This year I personally witnessed Dusan Lakic, the winner, transform from “Geek God” to “Greek God.” It was refreshing to see that he was victorious as a result of his hard work, and that of his fraternity, not to mention a hell of a lot of creativity and his god-like chiseled body.

Last Saturday, as I sat ogling the six boys on stage who were showing off what they’ve got, I realized that maybe greek life is not as bad as we all portray it to be. Who wouldn’t want to watch Phi Kappa Psi’s contestant run around the stage in a leotard? And, although greek life has a reputation for giving little more than lip service to philanthropy, all of the profits from the event went to the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation. Unless you lack a soul, try telling me that is a bad thing.

I think it is important to step back and commend these boys for their hard work and dedication. How many of us could go through what they did? Imagine spending two hours a day at the gym, and not eating any chocolate. Oh, and I would like to point out that the Greek God contestants did “presumably” eat … a lot. Try five meals spread throughout the course of the day.

You may say that Greek God is rubbish, because it was done for personal pride, just like a beauty pageant, but I think it runs deeper than that. All of the money goes to a great cause, and the event helps to instill a sense of pride in a fraternity, while also being a ton of fun.

I will say this, though. I think next year AEPhi needs to bring in some officials from BALCO to sit on the judges panel. Though David Belsky does make a kick-ass judge, I doubt he has the ability to make sure all the kiddies are playing fairly. If we could just leave all of the Barry Bonds wannabes for Bud Selig to handle, that’d be great.

Erica Fritz is a senior psychology major and a member of Mrs. Greek God’s pussy posse. She would like to remind everyone that Dusan is the super sexy, all natural Greek God.