I spent last Sunday looking at college transfer applications. As I was home that weekend, my parents simply could not resist the opportunity to shove them in my face. I think they still haven’t accepted the fact that their daughter will never be an Ivy League student, but that’s a topic for a different column. Anyway, as I was flipping through the pile, I did what I always do: I went straight to the essay section to see what ridiculous and utterly uninteresting questions these top-ranking schools want their students (or prospective students) to be thinking about.

To my dismay, these questions have not changed much from the time I was applying for freshman admission. As usual, every application contained the dreaded “please kiss our ass by telling us all the great reasons why you want to go to our school, as if we did not already know” question. Starting this essay is like stepping into a mine field. Virtually every step you take will cost you the coveted acceptance letter, and your head just might explode in the process.

You cannot truthfully say “attending your fine institution will instantly boost my resume and get me job offers up the ass,” and if you don’t know every single fact and statistic about the university to which you are applying, you may as well give up. The result is a dry recap of the admissions booklet, the school’s Web site or both. In any case, this essay usually turns out completely devoid of any passion for the subject, and how can there be?

The second type of essay that you may be presented with is the “we want to show that we can be creative, so we’re going to give you a weird-ass essay topic that you can neither relate to nor care about.” Approaching this topic is a little easier, provided that you have been taught good bullshitting skills in your freshman English classes. Still, even if you have mastered the art, your essay will more often than not look like a huge mosh pit of nonsense.

I simply cannot understand why most prestigious universities around the country insist on torturing their prospective applicants with bizarre essay topics. I further cannot comprehend how our ability to write a passionate, gripping essay on these topics correlates to our intelligence, creativity or desire to attend a highly selective university. The number of facts that I can regurgitate from the university view book in my own words is in no way indicative of my mental capacity or ingenuity.

It is further unclear to me why we are expected to break our backs to cater to these schools’ peculiar demands. Moreover, it is in their best interest to make the application process as interesting as possible. In evaluating candidates for admission, these universities should be making an effort to get to know us as individuals, not trying their best to make us jump through hoops.

For all students considering transferring schools, the ease (or lack thereof) of the application process should be a major concern. The way that transfer applications are looking right now, staying in BU may be the best option for many.

Polina Deryuga is a sophomore management and pre-law major. During registration this past week she got locked out of the later section of BLS 111 and is now forced to take it at 8:30 a.m. Someone trade with her, please!