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If you would like to learn about the history of Binghamton, press “one” now, if you would like to hear a random fact about Binghamton, press “two” now, if you would like to leave questions or comments for Townie Dan, press “three” now. To hear these menu options again, press “zero” now.

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Johnson City, Binghamton’s northwestern nextdoor neighbor, was the birth place of writer David Sedaris. Sedaris is known for his radio essays, novels and plays.

While Sedaris was born here, his family inexplicably left Johnson City for North Carolina, where he was subsequently raised.

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In 1871, a concoction known as “oleomargarine” was patented by a Binghamton resident named Henry Bradley. Using a concoction of beef tallow, vegetable oils and some buckets of water, Bradley created a “new or improved lard or shortening for culinary use” (according to the patent).

Incidentally, the product (from which the term “margarine” originated) was one of the earliest patents for partially-hydrogenated oil which is also known as the nutrition world’s current no-no “trans-fat.”

Despite receiving numerous death threats from the butter industry, and one recorded attempt on his life, Bradley survived and worked diligently to market his product and get it shipped to the masses. The threats though were not the last of his troubles.

Originally called “I Can’t Believe it’s not Binghamton,” the concoction sold poorly due to consumers’ inability to connect the product with culinary uses. Further problems arose from the consumers’ lack of comprehension of a pun that predates its reference by nearly a 150 years.

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Dan Lyons is a senior English and theater major.