Since it’s apparent the media will not relent on its coverage of an election now a year away, I decided to join the dark side and write about it as well. However, all of my ranting and raving couldn’t possibly help clear up the murky picture of the Democratic candidates vying for your vote. So here is one columnist’s list of the highlights from the debate, followed by brief explanations.

‘I think this has been the most hyped fight since Rocky fought Apollo Creed, although the amazing thing is, I’m Rocky in this situation.’ ‘ Barack Obama on his feud in the media with Clinton, forgetting that Rocky lost his first fight to Apollo and considered it a moral victory just being there.

‘I also think when you go to the table to negotiate with an adversarial regime, you need both carrots and sticks.’ ‘ Hilary Clinton on how to negotiate with an adversarial regime of rabbits and their terrorist leader, Peter Rabbit.

‘The problem is we saber-rattle. And this resolution in the Senate saber-rattles.’ ‘ Bill Richardson citing diplomatic methods of the prehistoric half saber tooth tiger/half rattle snake known as the saber-rattle.

‘I think that our responsibility as presidential candidates is to be in ‘tell the truth’ mode all the time.’ ‘ John Edwards, now paying for his haircuts out of his own pocket ‘ we think.

‘What you saw recently is Russia and Iran embracing each other. That is not healthy.’ ‘ Richardson, not realizing that because they did so in Vermont, we must allow it.

‘I want to know when this democratic Congress is going to stand up for the Constitution and hold the president accountable with Article II, Section 4, an impeachment act.’ ‘ Dennis Kucinich, not getting votes for saying what everyone else is thinking.

‘Here’s the truth: we need to ask Americans to be patriotic about something other than war.’ ‘ Edwards, not talking about supporting the U.S. in the 2008 Summer Olympics.

‘Presidents make wise decisions informed not by a vacuum in which they operate, by the situation they find themselves in the world.’ ‘ Joe Biden, speaking as though he had never met George W. Bush.

‘ In the fourth row, there’s a man named Bill Barloon, who I rescued from an Iraqi prison in Abu Ghraib.’ ‘ Richardson, reminding everyone to call him if you find yourself in Abu Ghraib.

‘In a perverse way, I think that the Republicans and their constant obsession with me demonstrate clearly that they obviously think that I am communicating effectively about what I will do as president.’ ‘ Clinton, correcting the notion that the Republicans are obsessed with her because of how good she looks in a pant suit.

‘I’m the only CEO in this race. I’ve balanced budgets. I’ve provided health care to kids under 12. I’ve improved education. I’ve got foreign policy experience. I’ve negotiated with foreign countries as a diplomat, as a hostage negotiator.’ ‘ Richardson, who was heard muttering under his breathe, ‘I’ve put 22 grapes in my mouth without chewing.’

‘I did. And the rest of the account ‘ I didn’t ‘ it was an unidentified flying object, OK? It’s, like, it’s unidentified. I saw something.’ ‘ Kucinich on whether or not he saw a UFO. Any doubters?

‘Rudy Giuliani ‘ I mean, think about it. Rudy Giuliani ‘ there’s only three things he mentions in a sentence: a noun, a verb and 9/11. I mean, there’s nothing else.’ ‘ Biden on why Giuliani isn’t invited to his next birthday party.