‘Is it cheating if I ________?’ is heard a lot on any college campus.
College is an environment unlike any other. One will never be in such close quarters with so many members of the opposite sex ‘ people with the same age, occupation, hangouts and interests. In short, landmines are everywhere.
Never fear, though. A few Binghamton University girls have mapped out a route so college relationships can dodge those bullets.
‘Communication is the key to a healthy relationship’ is the classic relationship advice from mom. But she never answered this question: Is seeking emotional support outside your relationship cheating?
‘It’s not cheating, but it’s weird,’ said Meagan Jean, a senior majoring in philosophy, politics and law. ‘If your significant other is looking for emotional support from someone other than you, then your relationship might not be as sound as you think.’
Zoe Berman, a junior majoring in integrative neuroscience, agrees.
‘If your significant other feels the need to confide in other women but can’t confide in you, there must be a lack of trust or openness, two things that are vital,’ Berman said.
How about cuddling up to watch a movie?
‘No, that’s intimate,’ Berman said. ‘It could even be more intimate than something like oral sex. Kissing and cuddling are the ultimate intimacy.’
Even ‘platonic’ activities like going out to dinner or getting coffee with the opposite sex could be considered cheating. According to Jean, it depends on the friend.
‘Getting dinner with one of our mutual friends would be fine,’ Jean said. ‘But taking a girl that you met at the bar last night out apple picking would not be OK.’
Dancing is a common weekend activity for most BU students, but could it make someone a cheater?
‘Just the act of dancing, definitely not,’ said Melissa Frascella, a senior majoring in health journalism. ‘It depends how racy.’
But she says intentions trump all.
‘Unless you’re dancing with the idea of eventually hooking up, then it’s OK,’ Frascella said.
When it comes to cheating, does it take two to tango? Or could crushing on another really piss off your significant other?
‘It depends whether or not they’re a real person,’ Frascella said. ‘Crushes on people from TV are stupid, but if you’re crushing on someone else, then why are you with me? Go pursue that other person.’
There are some areas of the cheating debate even the slickest guys can’t weasel their way out of. When asked if physical contact, such as kissing, oral, sex or anything physical is cheating, both Jean and Frascella agreed.
So next time you find yourself asking ‘Is it cheating if I’?’ remember that the answer is probably yes.