Lock:

Indianapolis (-3) over HOUSTON: Does anyone really want to know my rationale behind this pick? The Texans’ defense might as well not show up for this showdown with Peyton, Marvin and Co. The result would be the same: a lot of points for the Colts.

DALLAS (NL) over Cincinnati: The Bengals can’t seem to get anything on track, and the Cowboys will be looking to rebound off of their loss to Washington. In a nutshell, Carson Palmer might want to fake some car trouble, otherwise he’s going to get hammered. Meanwhile, Terrell Owens continues to anger Dallas owner Jerry Jones. My advice? As long as T.O.’s not committing a crime, Jones should keep his mouth shut and his wallet open.

Buffalo (+1) over ARIZONA: OK, so the Cardinals looked decent in getting dismantled by Brett Favre last week. However, if I may go the stats for a moment: the Jets defense is ranked 28th in the league and the Bills are ranked fifth. Translation: Kurt Warner should retire before Sunday, and Anquan Boldin, nursing an injury, should stay on the bench and do a crossword puzzle or something.

NEW ORLEANS (-3) over Minnesota: It seems this season as if I’ve had a love affair with the Saints. This week it’s justified. Drew Brees is a top-rated quarterback, while Minnesota can’t decide who their starting QB is, Tarvaris Jackson or Gus Frerotte. It doesn’t matter if it’s Warren Moon or Fran Tarkenton under center, the Vikings’ only weapon is Adrian Peterson, and even he can’t carry an entire team on his back.