Lock:

New Orleans (+1) over Washington: I have no idea why the Saints are underdogs here. Drew Brees will throw for 350 yards in this game, and that’s even without Marques Colston, who’s out for several weeks with a thumb injury. Reggie Bush will run all over Jason Taylor and the Redskins’ defense. Which is good, because I liked Taylor better on “Dancing With the Stars” anyway.

Chicago (+3) over Carolina: The Bears are just one of those teams that seem to get it done. Their defense is excellent, but they have no passing game, no running game and no marquee receivers. However, they put up 29 points on a very capable Colts team in Week 1, and I look for a repeat performance this week against a weaker Panthers defense.

Indy (NL) over Minnesota: Indy was stymied by the Bears defense last week. Minnesota’s D is good, but not great. Plus, even with running back Joseph Addai being questionable, the Colts still have Peyton Manning and an incredible offense. Minnesota does have an incredible running back in Adrian Peterson, who may very well run for 7,000 yards in this game, so that’s something. They also have a very good receiver in Bernard Berrian, but no quarterback to throw to him, as Tarvaris Jackson throws like a nine-year-old girl. And while I do acknowledge that some nine-year-old girls can throw a football very well, the girl that I’m comparing Jackson to here cannot.

San Diego (NL) over Denver: The Chargers owe me this week. I picked them to beat Carolina last week, which should have been easily done on paper. Who the hell is Dante Rosario?! I’ll tell you who he is: he’s a guy who forced me to lose a surefire football pick by catching a pass as time expired to beat the Chargers. However, seeing as I never learn, this week I’m doing the same thing. San Diego should ride the Broncos all around Invesco Field like, well … broncos. Denver retooled their entire defense in the offseason in an effort to stop the run, but they allowed Oakland’s Justin Fargas to rush for 97 yards in Week 1. The Chargers boast a running back by the name of LaDanian Tomlinson. I actually feel bad for Denver’s defensive line; they’re going to get embarrassed.