Honestly, I don’t think China’s even trying anymore.
The New York Times reported Sunday that Chinese officials are cracking down on Islam in the Xinjiang region of the country. Government workers are not allowed to practice the religion, studying of the Koran is highly restricted and the practice of Ramadan and the hajj — a pilgrimage to Mecca — are kept under strict supervision by the authorities.
All of these restrictions are in place because of the unruly separatists in the region, mostly Muslim Uighurs. Chinese officials have stated that insurgents in Xinjiang pose the most serious threat to the region and have recently begun to enforce the existing laws more severely, coinciding with the month of Ramadan.
This took me by surprise, because I didn’t know there was anything else the Chinese could make illegal. They’re pretty imaginative when it comes to unjust, restrictive laws that cause outrage and provoke rebellion.
Here’s the funny side of the story, for me anyway: these laws don’t have a chance in hell of saving the Chinese from insurgent Muslim groups. From what I can tell, very few militant Islamic terrorists really give two shits if you approve of their fasting or not. Go ahead, try to stop them going to Mecca. I think you’ll be pleased with the results you get — assuming you love the smell of rocket propelled grenades in the morning.
But to get honest, few things in this world piss me off more than China. This is the nation that courteously provides me with $20 jeans from the Gap (which, of course, I buy used at the Salvation Army because I am a cheap, cheap man). This is the nation that provided me with toys at McDonald’s when I was a kid (seriously, why the hell did they give me three Catwoman figures? Who do you have to blow to get Batman and a hamburger?). The situation I want is where someone mentions China at a black tie event and I say, “Oh China! That wonderful country that makes egg rolls and NOFX shirts and dangerously low-quality sex toys? Ah, yes! God bless ‘em, what would we do without them?”
As things stand right now, if China’s government fell apart tomorrow I’d be happy as a clam. And that makes me quite unhappy.
China is a mockery of socialism. China is the country socialism will never live down. China has become a police state, monitoring its people day and night like an old girlfriend who doesn’t have enough hobbies. They started with Mao, the Cultural Revolution, the invasion of Tibet. They kept going through Tiananmen Square and are still doing it today. The concept of human rights means nothing to the rulers of China’s “people’s republic.” (Just saying that, even mockingly, makes me feel veritably nauseous.) They will do anything to hang onto the absolute power they wield.
We the people are all but powerless to act on our own, and our government will do nothing if left to its own devices. Congress is much too busy looking busy with the economy, campaigning and naming post offices. Meanwhile, George Bush is more impotent than Mickey Rooney on estrogen supplements.
I extend this challenge to Barack Obama and John McCain: sirs, when one of you ascends to the Oval Office, make it a diplomatic priority to change the hellscape that is China. Everyone suffers when China is allowed to treat its people like slaves, when it can dictate their very beliefs, when its leaders are allowed to use violent force against those who protest this perversion of socialist ideals.
I won’t settle for anything less. With every transgression, China solidifies its status as the worst state in the history of bad states. Worse than New Jersey, even — and you know that when something is worse than Jersey, it’s got to be stopped before it spreads its sickness to the rest of us.