The world is filled with unanswerable questions. Sometimes, things don’t seem to make sense. Sometimes you can’t help but sit back and ponder the ironies of life.

If you swallow a burp does it turn into a fart? And why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don’t lay eggs!

Why is butter so unspreadable? Fabio once told me, “I can’t believe it’s not butter.” Well, I can’t believe I can spread a nun’s legs about as well as I can spread your butter.

Isn’t it funny how the word “politics” is made up of the words “poli” meaning “many” in Latin, and “tics” as in ‘bloodsucking creatures’? Oh, and where the hell is Osama Bin Laden?

Binghamton University is also filled with odd happenings that have no answers. It’s a microcosm of life. If you can figure out the answers to the questions our great school poses, I would advise you become president of BU, maybe even of the world.

For example, what ever happened to Bearcat star center Nick Billings? Wasn’t he some 7-foot-tall basketball phenomenon who was supposed to go on to be an NBA star? I bet right now he is hunched over in an igloo somewhere in Alaska.

How many ounces, even gallons, of “fluids” have been spilled on the Rathskeller dance floor throughout the years? Come on, we all know it’s really not just for dancing.

Why did Cheers shut down? I love to go to the place where everybody knows my name. What’s better than a bar that takes SUNY IDs as an acceptable form of identification and with 50-cent Coors Light cans on Thursday nights? Could life have been any sweeter?

Where did the cross-dresser from downtown go? He blew us away with his chic sense of style and Wonder Woman Halloween costume. Now I wonder where the hell he is.

Tell me, why can’t the Sodexho employees learn to make wraps? No, I don’t want a dinner that is folded like a present, thank you. I would like a wrap that I can eat, not one that is torn up with my meats flowing out the sides of it.

And how about the Sub Connection? Will they ever learn how to cut the bread properly to make sandwiches? I don’t know about you, but a mangled sandwich always hits the spot for me.

What really happens during pledging? And why in the world is it such a secret? You got dropped off in the middle of nowhere and found your way home. Congratulations! What are you, a homing pigeon?

And here is the most unanswerable question of them all: What does Lois DeFleur look like and, most importantly, does she even exist?

I guess in the end it comes down to this: What would happen if you put a humidifier and a dehumidifier in the same room? The answer is the same as the answer to all of the questions above — you’ll never know.

Erica Fritz is a junior psychology major.