Fucking A! As I am sitting in class, minding my own business, I find myself situated in what I can only describe as a dose of hell.

Let me explain. I am tired, probably pissed off about the nasty weather and probably have walked past one too many girls wearing “Pink!” adorned on their asses (but that’s another rant for another time). So when I get to class, pardon me, but I do not want to hear a gaggle of assholes giggling about some boy they fondled last night, said just loudly enough to attract attention. “Yes! I (finally) got some last night. Woot.” It’s just too bad that I, plain and simple, did not want to be subjected to such ear enema.

Notice how the people who are constantly discussing their “conquests” are the people who probably don’t even ever … well, yeah. Anyway, after that little ditty, I decide to turn my cell phone on vibrate, as both an effort to be polite and for my own pure entertainment of putting it strategically on my lap and smirking when I get text messages.

However, it doesn’t take long before my naughty cheer is ruined.

Some guy waltzes into class and takes a seat between me and some other innocent victim. In his hand is a carton of what I later find out to be pasta and meatballs. He makes himself at home by stretching out his entire body … everywhere. These distracting stretches continue to occur regularly at five minute intervals throughout the class. That is between chomps and CHOMPS as pasta and meatball bits are savagely attacked. Every time I hear another chomp, I cringe.

THEN, when the professor starts talking and we all start taking notes, this dude has the audacity to peek (yes, peek!) at what I’m writing. Too bad I notice. I pick up my notebook in my arms and start writing in my hand, hiding my prized notes … nonchalantly, of course. He then stares at the victim to the right. She puts her hand over her work. My arms get tired, so I put my notebook down. He stares over again. I decide to write in very tiny print. He looks over at the people in front of him. I am so grossed out.

Soon enough he starts playing with his Blackberry, and no, it is NOT on vibrate, nor is it silent. The tapping of his legs start just when the most important part of the lecture is discussed. I hate everyone and everything at this moment. Ever get that? So basically, assholes like this should be banned from society (and if that’s asking too much, then just from the Lecture Hall).

The end.