As Homecoming approaches, students and faculty alike are rejoicing in the fact that Binghamton University has, and has always had, a talented, and definitely not imaginary, Division-I football team.

“Having Homecoming without a football team really wouldn’t make sense,” said Joe King, an undeclared sophomore. “But we don’t have to worry about that problem, because we do have a football team, we DO.”

The beloved and completely real BU football team, The Razamachines, were founded in 1947 by Glenn Bartle, Rod Serling and Sue the Sodexo worker. According to campus legend, forming the team was more challenging than expected. For their first season, the players were forced to practice on an abandoned field in the most desolate, depressed area in all of Broome County, “Dickinsonville.”

Once the dedicated athletes came together, the rest was history.

“From game 1 back in ‘47, we were very popular,” team mascot Baxter said. “I knew I wanted to be part of a strong football team that would make us more than just the best SUNY school. Because I mean, come on, that’s like being the best out of your friends at playing World of Warcraft. Not so impressive, am I right?”

The team was formed around the same time as other things the school definitely has, such as a communications major, sunshine and comprehensible math professors.

The stands at the Bearcat Sports Complex are always packed for the Razamachines’ games. Students and faculty alike join together to celebrate the team that has been a huge, not fake part of Binghamton since its founding.

“We have big plans for the Homecoming game this year,” the team’s pyrotechnics consultant said. “The players are gonna run onto the field as fireworks explode and Baxter will do his little dance. We were going to hire a few strippers, but our budget’s been a little tight since Drake, so we just picked up a few sophomore girls from Newing instead.”

Binghamton’s gridiron warriors are just as fun off the field. The football house, located on Meathead Street, is always a popular Downtown spot.

“I go with my roommate to the house like, all the time,” said Lucy Luscious, an undeclared sophomore. “It’s almost like The Rat, except the football house is filled with football players, not cops.”

Baxter is extremely excited about the Saturday afternoon game.

“With Homecoming near, there’s nothing more satisfying than knowing there’s a game to attend, instead of simply having the students congregate for some dubstep concert that has nothing to do with BU pride,” Baxter said. “I mean without a football team, our students would be prideless Long Island-born alcoholics, but thank goodness we have a football team. Thank goodness.”