There’s one thing on many Bearcats’ minds this 4/20. You know it. You love it. Weed.
But how is one supposed to know what to smoke? There sure is a lot of weed out there, and a lot of opinions on what is the best strain to smoke. Well fear not, readers, for I have the list that will put your mind at ease. Now, I may have never smoked weed before, but I certainly know a good name when I hear it. So I present to you my noncomprehensive weed strain name ranking.
15. BF Blue Cheese
Look, I’m sorry but who discovers a weed strain and thinks to themself, “Ah yes, I shall name this after blue cheese.” Well, they probably had the munchies, but still.
14. Skunk Haze
Yeah, this name seems just a tad bit on the nose. No pun intended.
13. Wonder Woman
Of all the superheroes to name weed after, I don’t get how Wonder Woman was the pick when you literally have a man named Shazam.
12. Haze Special
This is definitely a step up from “Skunk Haze,” but there is one thing I don’t quite understand. Isn’t the point of all weed to make you feel special?
11. The Real McCoy
If people smoked weed in Texas, I am 100 percent sure that they would smoke this. I am also 100 percent sure Texas doesn’t bring in many pot smokers.
10. Girl Scout Cookies
There are a lot of culinary references in these names, and Girl Scout Cookies is a pretty good one, although it does give off kind of a lightweight energy.
9. California Indica
Idaho has potatoes. Georgia has peaches. Vermont has maple syrup. California has weed. These are the essential facts of America.
8. CH9 Jack 33
This name gives me massive SCP Foundation energy. Now this could either mean this is the best weed you’ll ever have, or smoking it will unleash the end of the world. Up to you.
7. Blueberry Haze
Of all the “Haze” names on this list, this one is definitely my favorite. There is just something so pleasant to me about blueberries, and it makes this almost an inviting name.
6. Tanzanian Magic
If I am on vacation someday and someone comes up to me and asks me if I want to get high, I would be shocked if that joint wasn’t Tanzanian Magic.
5. The Third Dimension
This name is just really metal. If you go up to someone and ask them what they are smoking and they say, “The Third Dimension,” I think it would be impossible to not respect them.
4. Green Crack
I think this name is pretty self explanatory. I honestly don’t have much else to add here, though given what it is referencing I may not recommend frequent smokings.
3. Lava Cake
Of all the food names on this list, this one is by far my favorite. There is just something so delectable about the idea of smoking lava cake to me, and it will probably give you a great case of the munchies.
2. Morning Star
I can’t put my finger on it, but there is just something so psychedelic about this name that I can’t help but love it. It just is so to the point and chill that I have no choice but to rank it this high.
1. Nebula New Purple Power
I mean, this had to be number one. I do not mince words when I say this is the perfect weed name. It would also be the perfect band name, if you’re into that.