The most important holiday in February is on the horizon. So, in honor of Groundhog Day, here is a ranking of the names of 10 of the best-known groundhogs.
10. Staten Island Chuck
The name “Staten Island Chuck” is the definition of lazy. No rhyming, no alliteration and no puns. The name tells us where Staten Island Chuck is based, but nothing else. Where’s the flavor? Where’s the pizzazz? The name is bland, plain and simple. Staten Island Chuck isn’t even the best name among groundhogs named Chuck.
9. Grover the Groundhog
The alliteration here is appreciated. There was at least more creativity involved in naming this groundhog than Staten Island Chuck. However, the name still feels lackluster, as if some intern who was being paid the minimum wage was tasked with naming this esteemed groundhog, and they gave a corresponding amount of effort. Grover deserves better.
8. Chattanooga Chuck
This name does what those who named Staten Island Chuck should’ve aspired to do. This name not only conveys where this groundhog is based, but it includes alliteration. However, the name is still nothing to write home about. It hits the marks it needs to, but it does not take it the step further it would require to rank higher on this list.
7. Buckeye Chuck
This name is again miles ahead of Staten Island Chuck. While there isn’t alliteration, there’s still an element of interest with the Buck/Chuck rhyme. Buckeye Chuck was also named via the listeners of Marion radio host, Charles Evers, so bonus points for democracy.
6. Punxsutawney Phil
This may be a controversial opinion, but the name Punxsutawney Phil is solidly middling. The name is classic, well-known, iconic even. But it is not particularly special. It is not boundary-pushing. And while the first letter for Punxsutawney and Phil are the same, it is frankly disappointing that they don’t make the same sound.
5. Dunkirk Dave
This is a solid grumpy old-man name. If Dunkirk Dave were human and not a groundhog, he would be part of his town’s rotary club and have a small room in his house that he refers to as his “study” that’s stocked solely with books on World War II.
4. Sir Walter Wally
A fancy old-man name. If Sir Walter Wally were human he would have a very funny and proper British accent, a handlebar mustache and a sword in a display case. Sir Walter Wally is the name of a gentleman, a fitting name for a groundhog.
3. Balzac Billy
You know why I think this is a good name — the alliteration, of course. And for proper context, Balzac Billy is from Balzac, Alberta. However, points have been deducted since Balzac Billy is not in fact a real groundhog, but rather a town mascot, which was a very sad discovery to make.
2. Pierre C. Shadeaux
Pierre sees a shadow. It is brilliant. It is innovative. It is a job-relevant name for a groundhog. It is French, which is always funny. This is a prime example of a high-effort, high-reward name. Overall, this is a great name for a groundhog.
1. Chuckles IX
Finally, a groundhog is given the title they deserve. Chuckles IX is a member of a lineage of Chuckles tasked with upholding the Groundhog’s Day tradition in Connecticut. This name stands out from more typical groundhog names and places Chuckles IX as part of an ongoing legacy, bestowing the ideas of history and legitimacy to those who hear it. An excellent name for a groundhog.