Many people have never had one, some always have them and others don’t even know what the “O” is.
According to ABC News, “about 75 percent of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone — that is without the extra help of sex toys, hands or tongue. And 10-15 percent never climax under any circumstances.”
Alice, a sophomore majoring in theater, is among the group of women who have never had an orgasm. [Due to the nature of this article, names have been changed to protect the privacy of those interviewed.]
“Sometimes I worry I’m thinking about it too much or that I’m not letting myself go far enough, but I usually just tell myself it will happen when my body’s ready,” Alice said.
The issue may be that women let sex get to their heads. If they’re concentrating on something else, they may not give their full attention to the act, which decreases the likelihood of an orgasm. But you may not necessarily need an orgasm to feel gratification from intercourse.
“I love having sex; it feels fantastic,” Alice said. “If I tell my partner I’m not going to orgasm, they’ll often take it as a challenge. I’ve been asked, ‘Did you come?’ afterward and always respond, ‘No, I’m always that loud.’”
Many girls will not orgasm during sex. This is not an insult to the gentlemen out there — women just can’t orgasm as easily as men. But some men just don’t get it and take a lack of orgasm as an insult. John, an undeclared junior, said he takes it as a blow to his ego.
“If I can’t give a girl an orgasm, it feels pretty shitty, but it happens,” John said. “I mean, it gets me down for a little while, but I get over it. But I am pretty determined and decently skilled with my tongue and fingers.”
Many girls feel a lot of pressure to orgasm during sex and that they’ll let the guy down if they don’t. Sometimes girls can feel guilty if they don’t put on a show for their partner, leading to the fake “O.” Jane, a junior majoring in human development, said that she has faked an orgasm before.
“It’s really awkward not to because I don’t want to make a guy feel bad about himself,” Jane said. “And yeah, it was definitely believable. Orgasms are really easy to fake.”
Fake orgasms are nice gestures on the part of women, but it’s only taking away from their sexual experience in the end — the guy is going to orgasm regardless of your fake moans. John said he’s sure girls have faked orgasms in the past with him. But to him, it’s their loss.
“I would try harder if I knew that they were faking,” John said. “Most of the time I can tell though. People don’t shake and tremble for no reason and if they do then good for them.”
If you are a woman who can’t seem to orgasm, just relax. It could really help improve the experience.
But if you want a more scientific approach to improving sexual pleasure, take a note from scientists who have studied the female anatomy. Famed French psychoanalyst Princess Marie Bonaparte published a report in 1927 declaring that the optimal C-V (clitoris to vagina) distance is 2.5 centimeters, about an inch. So maybe the key is targeting this area.
More recently, Kim Wallen, professor of behavioral neuroendocrinology at Emory University, and Elisabeth Lloyd, a professor of history, philosophical science and biology at Indiana University, sent out a study based on research done by Bonaparte. The two hope to design a device that women can use in the privacy of their homes to measure their C-V distance.
“If men and women knew the reality of their biology, their sex might improve,” Wallen told ABC News.
Lloyd believes that too much emphasis is placed on models of female sexuality that are created by Hollywood and the pornography industry. Instead, people should focus more on the biology of the situation, not the cinematography.
“Those things are worthwhile,” she told ABC News. “But to sort of act as if that’s all that needs to be done for women is just silly. This is a total denial of the facts.”