The term “good friends’’ is perfect to describe some situations. The pals that love to play one-on-one basketball when the weather is nice, for instance, are a great example of a couple of good friends. The two women from the eighteenth century who swore off men, shared a bed and wrote emotionally charged correspondents to each other any time they were apart, however, were definitely not just “good friends.” Let’s talk about it!

The acute awareness of the diverse emotions that are related to love is first and foremost represented by the Ancient Greeks’ seven terms for love — eros (sexual love), philia (platonic love), storge (familial love), agape (universal love), ludus (flirtatious, uncommitted love), pragma (long-lasting love) and philautia (self-love). You might recognize some of these words simply because of the roots from ancient Greek that have been mixed into the English language. Agape, for instance, was used to refer to selfless, universal love. This term, which now means that something is wide open or gaping, was used in antiquity to mean a wide-open love for others. The term that most applies to this conversation about relationships and Valentine’s Day, however, is also the term used to refer to the god of lust and love, Eros. Although not explicitly homosexual in any stories, Eros represented sexual energy more than orientation. This figure in antiquity was essentially an incredibly dangerous — yet tempting — “bad boy” cupid, the grandchild of Chaos. Eros is a primordial force whose name refers to the energy of things clashing, leading to simultaneous birth and destruction. More than any clear sexual orientation, which was already not a defined concept in antiquity, eros represents an energetic and lusty passion within relationships.

The openness of the definition of eros means that anyone could feel this form of love for anyone else, whether they identified as the same gender as their beloved or not. The ancients were not afraid to express their sexuality, whether it be through writing, music, mythology or any other form of memorializing their relationships, even the fleeting ones. Sappho, the female poet hailing from the island of Lesbos, famously directed her own sense of eros onto other women. Her reputation as a lover of women is so well renowned that the name of the island she inhabited was used to create the term “lesbian.” Although only fragments remain, these bits of poetry plead with Aphrodite, the goddess of love and mother of Eros, and Artemis, the goddess of the night and of the hunt who swore off men — but not women — for reciprocity in her love for the women she is surrounded by. Sappho is a woman who loves women and she is not afraid to let the entire world know just how intense her desire — her sense of eros — for the women she admires is.

Sappho was not the only clear member of the LGBTQ+ Community from ancient Greece. Many Greek warriors also recognized the fluidity of sexuality, both in mythology and in real life. Plato’s Symposium, for example, discusses a troop of hundreds of warriors paired up into romantic couples. This may have been in reference to The Sacred Band of Thebes, which was an elite group of 150 gay male couples, totaling three hundred men, who fought side by side against the Spartan military in the name of freedom. The Greeks did not care about their sexual activities, however, referring to them as valiant warriors and praising their victories instead of focusing on what is now a major point of interest. This theme of ancient Greek people caring more about leadership and battle skills than sexuality is revealed again in the story of Achilles from the Iliad. Achilles’s time in battle allows him to become close with his “good friend” Patroclus, another famous warrior. Their friendship leads to attraction, which deepens into eros and then into the committed love of pragma. Although this story ends tragically, the expression of Achilles and Patroclus’ love turns them into even stronger warriors and gives them greater renown. The nature of their relationships is often undermined or overshadowed by their fame as warriors, but the love they shared is by no means diminished by Plato’s writing.

At the end of the day, sexuality is a spectrum. Some people fall on the opposite side, some fall perfectly in the middle and still, others slide around a little bit. This fluid motion of desire and sexuality was recognized by people all over the world during antiquity and the presence of LGBTQ+ couples in history is incredibly important. Most importantly, however, wherever you fall on this spectrum or not, remember to practice self-love — philautia — this Valentine’s Day and every day that follows.